For most of you normal guys who are college football fans, you probably are aware that yesterday was National Signing Day.
Hundreds of 17 and 18 year old ‘croots selected which school would be acquiring their ‘talents,’ much to the delight of a bunch of 40 and 50 year old men whose jobs and family’s well-being depended on coercing children into playing an extremely dangerous game under their leadership.
The big name schools got the big name ‘croots, sure, but what were the best names during yesterday’s signing day madness? Here is Yahoo’s Dr. Saturday blog to set the record straight.
RB Lil’Jordan Humphrey, Texas – This gives us hope that there could be a recruit named Lil’Penny after the Nike Penny Hardaway commercials of the 1990s.
• WR Ralphlauren McCauley, undecided – His nickname, according to his own website, is “Polo” and he’s got offers from Louisiana-Monroe and Texas State.
• QB Messiah deWeaver, Michigan State – Let “The Chosen One” comments begin.
• LB Zach Sandwisch, West Virginia
• OL Brodarious Hamm, Auburn – Such a perfect name for an offensive lineman.
• DE Isaiahh Loudermilk, Wisconsin
• WR Infinite Tucker, UMass
• WR Randrecous Davis, South Carolina
• DE Pookie Maka, Colorado – If Maka has a signature dance, “The Pookie Maka” is catchy enough to be a craze.
• LB Jango Glackin, Northwestern
• DT Boss Tagaloa, UCLA – Another great name for a lineman.
• WR Divine Deablo, Virginia Tech – Deablo is a late add, but we can’t forget about him.
• OL Jakori Savage, LSU
• S Nigel Warrior, Tennessee
• OL Dakota Cru Birdyshaw, Southern Miss
• OL D’Andre Christmas-Giles, Texas
• S Qwuantrezz Knight, Maryland
• ATH Maurice Ffrench, Pitt
• WR Eddie McDoom, Michigan
• RB Natereace Strong, Missouri
• LB Michael Divinity, LSU
• S Brady Breeze, Oregon
• WR Neru N’Shaka, Toledo
Personal favorite? Michigan signee Eddie McDoom. That is the best damn name in the history of sports. It sounds like the villain on a ‘90s Nickelodeon cartoon. I’m surprised it didn’t get more love here.
Runner up? Brodarious Hamm. Another kickass name that makes me wish my school signed him. He probably earned a couple extra recruiting stars for that one.
Texas did pick up “Lil’Jordan” Humphrey, though. Hopefully we grab a few more names like this in the future. We need better named players (see: Colt McCoy) if we are ever going to make it to the college football playoff.
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