I’m not a betting man, at least when it comes to non-money matters. I’ll throw around dollar bets like it’s nobody’s business. Three-team parlays, money lines, over/unders. I’ll take all of that action. What I definitely try to stay away from are horrible, awful, downright deplorable bets like this one that a particularly confident Chicago Bears fan made prior to the 2014 NFL regular season.
Reddit user Mshotts bet several Green Bay Packer fans that his beloved Bears would finish better than 5-11. Welp, the Bears finished 5-11 and he delivered on a bet that no man should ever make. Here’s the original post:
I think “might win 5” is a bit of a stretch. You honestly see us winning just two more games this year?
We’re 3-4 not 0-7 and we have been saying since the schedule came out that it would be rough.
If we go 5-11 I’ll stick a cheesestick with a little Rodgers jersey up my ass with video proof. Go ahead and tag me.
Oh. Oh no. You didn’t. You did? Come on, man. You should NEVER make a bet like this, even if it is on the internet and you don’t have anyone to hold you to your word. But our hero is a man of his word. He would not let his honor be tarnished. He would shove a cheese stick into his asshole. Here are the pics of the prep:
I must warn you, the link that follows shows a cheese stick wearing a mini Aaron Rodgers jersey going into a grown man’s anus.