The man crush is a time honored tradition. Where it was once about guys respecting the great men of history for their accomplishments, in the last decade or so, it has become acceptable to recognize a man for his general attractiveness and charisma — you know, in addition to his achievements. I, personally, take this as a sign progress.
He’s totally embraced the “alright, alright, alright” as his own. I was shocked that so many people thought his acceptance speeches were pretentious, weird, or stupid. I loved every second of them. I thought he was incredibly sincere and charismatic. The McConnaissance is on, folks. Get on board before you get left behind.
He can sing, he can dance, he can host, he’s hilarious, and he kills people with claws made of adamantium — all with an Aussie accent.
This ex-Nirvana drummer, current Foo Fighters genius has basically put rock music on his back. It seems like every new Foo album gets better and better, and they’re one of the few bands who started in the mid-late 90s that haven’t compromised their sound at all. On top of it all, he decided to direct a documentary about a music studio, which sounds boring, except it’s fucking awesome as shit. Go watch “Sound City.” He’s hilarious in it. And he’s the only one who can pull off those feather tattoos.
Denzel has walked a very fine line between good acting and self-parody in the last few years. He’ll do “Flight” one second, and then “Two Guns” the next. I love both. In fact, I’m not sure which I love more, Serious Denzel or Hammy Denzel. Although I suppose he’s at his best when he gets to do both (see: “Training Day” and “Man on Fire”).
He looks like a guy who’s lived an awesome life of heavy drugs and alcohol, but came out the other side grittier and better looking. And you know what? That’s because he did exactly that. Now he gets paid to eat around the world and talk shit to idiots, all while getting sloppy drunk. I’m not totally sure of his sexuality, but I’m pretty sure he’d clean up on either side of the aisle.
Thankfully for the rest of us, he’s batting for the other team. Otherwise, this guy could be running through some crazy tail and we’d all be SOL.
I thought about writing a whole bit about how impressive it is that Arnold got to where he is today. But I’ll never be able to touch how perfectly Bill Burr stated it. So I’m just gonna link that video for you.
The man looks like a modern day Viking. The type of guy you’d see hosting an adventure show where he does crazy, life threatening stunts. Instead he decided to become a billionaire, who also happens to do crazy, life threatening stunts.
He was Stringer Fucking Bell. That should be enough, really. The eloquent British actor played a Baltimore crime boss to perfection. What’s more, he has that sort of “I can kill you by giving you a perturbed glance,” thing that gets the ladies going.
Robert Downey Jr.
Probably my top choice, if I’m being honest. The man reeks of charisma, is incredibly nice to everyone around him, and is absolutely hilarious. Plus, he’s the definition of male sexual energy. When they said Tony Stark slept with all 12 Maxim cover models, I didn’t doubt it for a moment.
I am going to conclude this by saying that this list was HIGHLY controversial with the PGP staff. One of my colleagues even suggested I “have grapes where my eyes should be.” I’d say that’s a little hyperbolic, don’t you think?