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Whoever says beauty lies within is clearly the person who says that their ugly friend “super cute” when they’re trying to set you up. If you weren’t actually supposed to judge a book by its cover, they wouldn’t put covers on books. Passing the eye test to begin a relationship is essential, and no one’s dating girls with barbed wire around their arms because it’s a difficult thing to explain at the Thanksgiving table to your conservative aunt.
Of course, you’re not going to date a guy who fills his Instagram with gym selfies either. I can only guess what people look for in guys, but a recent study gives us the intel that there’s one defining factor that may signal a man is more desirable if you’re seeking something that ends with a ring rather than an awkward wake-up: a beard.
The Journal of Evolutionary Biology did a study that explains this in detail, and they called it “The masculinity paradox: facial masculinity and beardedness interact to determine women’s ratings of men’s facial attractiveness.” I would’ve called it “Beards get chicks,” but I’m just a guy who can grow an award-winning beard so I don’t think anyone’s going to read any studies that I do.
Per The Daily Mail:
New research has found that women looking for a long-term relationship find men with beards more attractive than those who are clean shaven.
Those with stubble were judged as the most attractive for those hoping for a short-term relationship, perhaps due to the bad-boy image that the five-o’clock shadow can give.
Previously, the “five-o’clock shadow” was regarded as the “I was too hungover to shave” look or the “my job doesn’t require a clean-shaven face” look. But now it’s just the much-coveted “I’ll steal your girl and never text her again” look that we’re all trying to achieve.
But beards? They’ve transitioned from being the lumbersexual signature look to being the look of a long-term boyfriend. The study says that it’s because a bearded man looks more formidable than an unbearded beta male, but I’d venture to guess that a beard simply puts out the vibe of a guy who has given up in his long-term relationship. “I have a girlfriend now,” the bearded man tells himself. “I can put on weight and cover it up with this wiry hair on my face.”
The study goes on to explain in detail just why beards work if you’re looking to settle down. Dr. Barnadby Dixson (how can’t you be a doctor with that name?) explained, “Relationship context also had effects on ratings, with facial hair enhancing long-term, and not short-term, attractiveness.” My opinion is that beards cover wrinkles and make you look young and hip, but the study showed that beardedness increased reliability. Much like caring for a dog probably means you can care for a kid, maintaining a beard insists that you can maintain a relationship. Or something.
Whether it’s because you’re saving money on razors or you just moved to a hip gentrified neighborhood and you want to fit in, growing a beard is a one-way ticket to duping the opposite sex into believing you’re worth investing in. Just make sure to trim up your neckline. I hear girls hate that. .
[via The Daily Mail]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I literally watched a woman change her mind 4 times while ordering Starbucks today.
I’m not going to make career altering choices based on something so fickle.
Side note: What happened to the days where men were men? We didn’t change our hairstyles or dress to get a girl. We just did what we liked and if a woman liked it, great. if not, I’m going to keep doing it because I like it.
Those were the days…
Changing hairstyles to get a girl is the entire point of the peaky blinders haircut.
Let me guess – she was hot, basic and had trouble deciding between adding skim milk or low fat milk to her pumpkin spice latte.
She definitely went almond milk
If you can service a car, fix things that break around the house, chop wood for the fireplace and overall do traditional/stereotypical “manly” things, then you can look however you like. Those were the days.
Things you never learned from the OG Mr. Rogers.
My girlfriend always threatened to break up with me if I ever shaved my beard. She still broke up with me even though I kept the beard so that probably says more about me as a person than my facial hair game but regardless, it still supports the findings of this study so that’s something.
Way to, uh, find the silver lining there
Shit. I’m the king of the 5 o’clock shadow
#TeamBeard
#TeamBearded- Sup?
Everyone hates you bud.
At least he attempted a comment that, in theory, should get a positive result of nice work
I can’t respect the hustle of anyone who talks shit about Madoff.
…..Nah.
On to the next username, mhc.
Pretty sure my wife would have left me by now if I didn’t have my beard. I shaved it once for a Halloween costume and she didn’t want to be around me for about a week.
I’d really say it depends on the guy but in general, really really not a fan of facial hair. That being said, I agree with others that changing your look to appeal to a girl is stupid.
Sup #teamnobeard here
Well shit, I’ve got a date tonight and I shaved this morning.
To live the WASP life, you’ve got to commit to it fully. Your beard wouldn’t match that Vineyard Vines quarter-zip anyway.
Do they prefer beards in the crotch area as well?
Too bad Uncle Sam won’t let me grow one
Team Beard but only if you can grow a nice one. Not here for the chin strap grossness.