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Ah, NYC. The city that never sleeps or stops sleeping around. They say that if you can make it here you can make it anywhere, and after three glorious, albeit exhausting, years in Manhattan, I would have to agree. The following are twenty reasons why you moved here in the first place, or why you’re considering the jump to bright lights, long nights and stress-induced alcoholism.
1. All your friends are there.
They’re crushing it in their respective fields (fashion, finance, gold digging) and they keep trying to convince you you’ll do the same.
2. The bars close around 6 AM.
Spoiler alert: nothing good can happen after 2 AM.
3. TV Shows and the media keep playing it up.
I mean, if the kids from Gossip Girl are getting cocktails every night, it must be a blast. They’re like what, 18?
4. You have that “make it or break it” attitude.
You’re used to fighting to get what you want. Even if that means pushing little girls down to get a space on the subway.
5. There’s an overabundance of beautiful people.
Who won’t call you again. Because why screw the same person twice?
6. You have an Adderall prescription.
The recipe for success.
7. All the jobs you want are there.
Your dream company is there, ready to hire you. They just don’t want to pay you.
8. You love drinking on rooftops with the majestic Manhattan skyline behind you.
Your building’s rooftop closes at midnight because too many people jump after 2 AM.
9. You don’t know what to do with your savings account.
Congratulations, you won’t have one. Weeeeeee.
10. You don’t like to eat.
Solely living off alcohol calories is more fun and cost effective anyway.
11. You LOVE people.
And being surrounded by thousands of them, all day, every day, and answering their scintillating queries such as, “Is 5th avenue this way?” or “Can you take my picture?” in broken English.
12. You always listen to your iPhone anyway.
Drowning out the sounds of sirens and tourists isn’t just a choice, but a way of life.
13. You have a ridiculous alcohol tolerance.
A necessity for all those “networking” events you’ll be attending.
14. You love celebrity sightings.
Especially when they’re in your gym and you just fell off the elliptical.
15. You have a blog.
Because totally NO ONE has one there. You’re so unique! Go on, tell everywhere you know about it.
16. You want to make a ton of money in finance.
And never see the light of day.
17. You never liked being a big fish in a small pond.
Swimming upstream with the rest of the salmon burns so many more calories anyway.
18. You enjoy diversity.
Especially on the commute to work when it’s asking you for change.
19. Your rent was too cheap in the city/town where you went to college.
Who the hell only pays $1,200 for a studio? What is this, communist Russia?
20. You enjoy coming home and answering the question, “Why do you live there – isn’t it so expensive?”
The question is irrelevant because you’re thinner than them. KEEP LIVING THE DREAM.
Respond
sarahsolfails
Writer in NYC. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough."
@urbanJAP
@sarahsolfails
#5: When’s the last time you were south of Kentucky? The weather’s nicer down here, too.
#21: You subconsciously harbor a creepy fetish for the smell of urine.
With almost 60,000 people homeless every night there’s plenty to go around.