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Are you aware there are groups of offensively attractive 20-somethings jet-setting from the Patagonia Mountains to Bora Bora to Banff to the Amalfi Coast to skydive and snorkel with exotic sea creatures and heli-ski and fly fish and fuck each other? Did you know these assholes do all this incredible shit with GoPros strapped to every appendage to record it all in stunning 4k quality video set to sensual sex spa instrumentals to shove in our pathetic fucking faces? Just packing 10 lifetimes of adventurous, costly world traveling into one summer and picking up tens of millions of YouTube views doing it.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this fucking video. If you’re already aware of this trend, still watch this fucking video.
Who are these assholes?
The comments under the videos are sickening, too. “So inspiring!” “Wow, stunning. What an amazing summer.” “Absolutely gorgeous. Let’s hope my summer is this great.” “So epic!” “This is how you live life to the fullest!”
Oh just fuck right off. This isn’t real life.
“Hey, man. What’d you get into this summer?”
“Blah. Interned at a law firm and moved into a new apartment. Some buddies and I rented a house on the coast a few weeks back, though. The weather sucked but it was a decent time. Not long enough though lol. What about you?”
“Well I met a group of models down in the British Virgin Islands back in May. We bounced around from island to island on a 48-foot catamaran, eating fresh lobster and paddle-boarding at sunrise each day. The snorkeling there is insane! Then we hit the Swiss Alps for a few weeks. We stayed in this 10k-a-night villa overlooking the mountains and I learned how to fly a wing suit, so that was pretty chill. Incredibly dangerous but I got pretty good at it. Not as good as I got at snowboarding, though. Have you ever shredded fresh powder in the Swiss Alps first thing in the morning? Dude you have to.
After that, things kind of wound down a bit. We yachted along the Italian coastline for a while, jet skied across the Mediterranean to take in the different cultures, and we sky dove over Sicily and tasted wine from 15 different vineyards in southern France. Oh, and there’s this private island in the Caribbean we chilled at for a little bit. We stayed in this quaint little 7,000 square-foot beachside bungalow with multiple levels and decks and pools and hot tubs that we hung out and fucked each other in. Have you ever tongue kissed a perfect 10 under water surrounded by black tip sharks?! Wow, what a rush.”
“Wait, what?”
Here’s another one:
And afuckingnother:
I have so many questions that I’m not even sure I want the answers to.
1. Who are these dickbags?
2. Who funds this shit?
3. Do they have real fucking jobs?
4. Are they paid to do this?
5. How’d they find each other?
6. Is there an application process?
7. What do their parents think of this?
8. How do I get into this?
9. Do they wear sunscreen?
10. Why haven’t I ever seen anyone in real life who looks as good in a bathing suit as that blonde leaning over the railing?
11. If I join a group like this, do I have to lose contact with all my ugly friends?
I fundamentally don’t understand what’s going on here. Like this shit wasn’t filmed over a weekend. This is a lifestyle — numerous destinations, yachts, islands, Lamborghinis. I don’t think I can even ballpark the cost of a summer like this. And yeah I get that some sexy music and fancy editing can take a video to the next level, and those slow-motion laughing montages are over-the-top cheesedicky, but these aren’t green screens we’re looking at. Those dickheads are actually jumping out of helicopters and swimming with sharks.
Oh and P.S. They have the cutest fucking puppy in the world, too..
Images via YouTube
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Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
They won the gene and parental lottery. Having millionaire parents makes your 20’s a hell of a lot more exciting than 60 hour work weeks. Oh crap I have a spreadsheet due at 11
The comments on the videos are awful. “Hope my summer is this great!”. Yea, I’m sure it will be while you hang around your hometown in the Midwest and have a family vacay to the Dells. Good luck with that, clowns.
Man, I just watched the videos again and remembered I’m in a cubicle. Fuck.
Woah. Don’t knock the Dells till you’ve gotten obscenely drunk and gotten kicked out of the waterpark capital of the world.
I should reevaluate my life.
Hey man, nothing against the Dells but I’d rather go yachting across the Mediterranean with a bunch of smokeshows than hangout at an indoor waterpark with a bunch of annoyed parents and screaming kids. But maybe that’s just me.
That’s fair. I guess I just have a thing for Midwestern 7s. We can’t all shoot for the stars.
Being realistic is the most common way to mediocrity.
Good morning, Dillon
Alright I just watched them. The Jay Alvarrez one is full of fuckboys with no monetary explanation but the Round III vids occasionally have fat bald guys in the background- guessing a wealthy father
Top 5 title of all time.
These videos are the post grad equivalent to those college/fraternity party videos.
THANK YOU. As I sit in my windowless office for 45-50 hours a week, only guessing what the weather is like on the outside world, I use instagram as a source of entertainment and regrettably so. I too, have asked these questions all too often, wondering where I went wrong in life, and why do I keep staring at the accounts of these youthful dipshits who never have to wake up early, power through brutal hangovers and meetings, and pretend to be nice to people you hate. Damn them all.
But how often will they feel the joy of a Friday Happy Hour the day you received a bonus you probably didn’t deserve?
I’d rather have been born with 2 or 3 commas in my bank account, if we’re being honest.
Touché
Preach
Anybody who thinks this is “inspiring” can fuck off too. What part is inspiring, exactly? Unlimited money probably from their parents? My sister is trying to live this life and going broke in the process. This. Isn’t. Real.
I could watch that puppy gif all day. That little guy was so pumped to climb those stairs…
Guys, I met these type of mother fuckers down in Costa Rica (I was there for work) a few weeks back. after grabbing drinks with these fucks, there was one common trait: They were all “between jobs” and came from families that have fuck tons of money yet they claim that it’s all hard work and social media that fuels their adventures. I met more at the US Embassy after my shit was stollen and I was forced to stay in the country for 3 days with nothing until they made me a new one. These adventure seekers at Trustafarians and they have brands find them by giving shout out ads. They’re corporate shills in disguise. Don’t believe them, they are not tethered to any kind of reality.
1. Who are these dickbags? Don’t care
2. Who funds this shit? Dad
3. Do they have real fucking jobs? Negative, and they won’t ever need jobs
4. Are they paid to do this? See #3
5. How’d they find each other? Bottle service, brunch, or other bougie activities
6. Is there an application process? See #5 and don’t piss one of these kids off, else you get blackballed
7. What do their parents think of this? Too Rich To Care
8. How do I get into this? Sell your soul, values, etc
9. Do they wear sunscreen? No, Vodka or Malibu Rum are used as substitutes
10. Why haven’t I ever seen anyone in real life who looks as good in a bathing suit as that blonde leaning over the railing? Too much time spent outside the sunbelt
11. If I join a group like this, do I have to lose contact with all my ugly friends? Probably. PGP