Columns

When You’re Hitting The Bars, You Can Do Better Than A Henley

Screen Shot 2017-10-12 at 11.52.33 AM

There are no rules when it comes to fashion. You can wear whatever you want, whenever you want, so long as the outfit you’re sporting isn’t deemed “indecent exposure” by law enforcement.

I don’t like to do what I’m about to do, but when a certain look has saturated the market so heavily that I can no longer look in any direction and not see said look, I am inclined to comment on it.

You can sit behind your computer and bitch and moan all day long about how I am wrong for criticizing the button down and jeans look that has become a sort of “post-grad” staple for men in their mid to late twenties. You can call me a contrarian, hipster piece of shit until the cows come home, but the fact of the matter is I am correct (at least partially). The worst part is you know that I’m right, you’re just too stubborn to admit it. The button down and jeans combination is an unoriginal, uninspired look that will help you blend in. And if that’s what you’re going for so be it.

In recent weeks, it’s become apparent that I have to add yet another look into my “Uninspired and Boring” folder on my desktop. I’m talking, of course, about the henley shirt.

If ever there was a look to describe the insecure, overly-masculine male, it is the henley shirt. It is quintessentially douchebag, and it further proves my point that most men are massive douchebags which is the reason why you see it being worn so often at bars and parties all over the world.

Complete with buttons that allow the guy wearing it to really showcase his chest hair, the sleeves on a henley are usually made tight enough that if the guy wearing it has just done an “arms day” at the gym, you’ll know about it.

Want to wear a shirt that also doubles as something that looks like a pajama top? The henley is the shirt for you, my friend.

It’s a shirt that a very average male will wear because he knows that he can beat you in a beer chugging contest and furthermore, definitely thinks that because he lifts weights he can beat you up. He started watching Dexter back in 2006 and decided that this was the shirt which would finally complete his wardrobe. The henley can be worn with cargo shorts, bootcut jeans, and anything in between!

The henley was, at one point, a shirt that was only worn underneath dress shirts. Apparently, it was also worn by rowers and is sometimes called a “baseball shirt” when the sleeves are a different color from the torso portion.

What is wrong with the henley shirt, you ask? There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, per se, it’s simply been adopted by bros everywhere as a go-to bar shirt. For some reason, it also just feels like a shirt that was very chic in 2009 or 2010 but has fallen flat as of late.

A few years ago, I’m sure a henley was seen as a viable alternative to t-shirts but now it’s not only stale, it’s also been accepted as the number one choice of shirt for the worst people on earth: bros.

I add the henley t-shirt to my ever-growing list of stale looks because it’s become boring. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if blending in is what you’re going for then, by all means, go out and cop a few henley tees.

If you’d like to stand out and maybe catch the eye of a nice young lady, go with literally anything other than the henley (and obviously the button down). Don’t ditch the henley for me, ditch it for your future girlfriend or wife.

Image via YouTube

Email this to a friend

Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail: jduda10@gmail.com

53 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account

Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More