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For many, Jim and Pam’s relationship in The Office portrayed a sort of fairytale romance in modern times. It had women swooning over Jim’s unwavering devotion to Pam, even during her engagement to another man and even though she wasn’t fully supportive of his own ambitions until the final few episodes. Basically, the message was “find a guy who will let you just be yourself while he completely gives in to all of your wants and needs.” Hell, he had to secretly get involved with his dream job because he was worried she wouldn’t even support him. Touching. But up front, I have to admit that I have always been Team Karen, partially because I think she was the best catch for Jim in the series and partially because I didn’t buy the premise that Pam was Jim’s soulmate to begin with.
And, when you think about it, she wasn’t.
Ever since the 1950s, studies have been performed addressing the theory of “proximity attraction,” showing, generally, a correlation between closer proximity and time of exposure to attraction. Why are people “office hot?” Why do so many flings start at work, causing people to perpetually violate the old axiom of “don’t crap where you eat”? Because the more you see someone, the more attractive they become. And it doesn’t just apply romantically or physically. Some of the studies showed that proximity attraction is what creates bonds, lasting friendships, and was even instrumental in breaking down racial barriers. It’s a surprisingly simple concept for a phenomenon so often studied.
This obviously applies to Jim and Pam who sat ten feet apart and faced one another for years. Eventually, that led to Jim regularly hanging out with her at reception and interacting with her even more than her fiancé, Roy, who worked in the warehouse and rarely visited her at reception despite having a pretty lax boss in Michael Scott. That many years in close proximity had a major factor in their attraction, but notice how quickly that attraction disappeared when Jim left for Stamford (yes, they weren’t together, but they were both single) or when Pam went to New York for art school or when Jim was working part-time at Athlead in Philadelphia. They had to close the distance to have chemistry again. I’m not saying that distance is not difficult. It’s extremely difficult, even for great couples who love each other, but Jim and Pam’s relationship seemed to fizzle quite quickly in those situations, causing pain on both sides and even opening up doors for others to make a move, even New York art nerds. So why was such a great relationship so quick to fizzle with distance?
Not only were they in close proximity for a long time, they used each other’s company to endure a stressful work environment, which strengthened their bond. Which is great, if she wasn’t engaged and her fiance didn’t work in the same building. Would the story have been different with Roy sitting at Dwight’s desk? I believe so. Not that Roy was Pam’s soulmate, but Jim wouldn’t have been able to have repeated, uninterrupted contact with her. Jim and Pam (as a couple) were simply offices crushes or for lack of a better term, “work wives” that worked out in the end. And that’s fine! It’s just not a worthy relationship goal.
As much as I hate to say it, the real soulmate examples in The Office were Michael and Holly, with Dwight and Angela being in the gray area between “office hot” fling and soulmates. When you saw them together, you just knew it. Especially Michael and Holly, odd as they were. So, unfortunately, Jim and Pam aren’t the fairytale romance in The Office, it’s Michael and Holly, although in the end, I wouldn’t say that any relationship in the show was particularly healthy. But, then again, how many are? .
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@5OClockShadow_
In related news, “Just looking for the Jim to my Pam” is the shittiest dating app bio of all time
“Just looking for the Jan to my Michael.”
“Just looking for the Creed Bratton to my Creed Bratton.”
Pizza is bae and the word doggo is usually peppered in there as well
Just looking for the Ryan to my Kelly is more appropriate on a dating app such as tinder.
Came here to say the same. How many Bumble bios fall by the wayside if they come out and ban references to Pam and Jim….and maybe tacos?
A ton of tv couples that people think are #relationshipgoals are actually terrible. Like Lily and Marshall from HIMYM. People act like they were a perfect couple even though Lily is a selfish person who abandoned him, manipulated him into giving up his dream of being an environmental lawyer and hid a mountain of credit card debt from him. Marshal deserved better.
Lilly is one of my least favorite tv show characters of all time. She was annoying at best and absolutely unbearable at worst. I can’t remember a single redeeming quality about her.
Not to mention how co-dependent they are. It is deeply unhealthy.
Beat me to it. Add to this list Noah and Allie from the Notebook. Their relationship was freakishly unhealthy.
Ouch.
You need to write a rebuttal
Karen was 100% wife material that everyone knows Jim would have stayed with reality.
*in, Monday in general needs an edit button
No! No god no! -Michael Scott
Karen didn’t like pranks or having fun. Karen is boring as heck.
In what reality? Karen is dry as hell
Jim went for the mashed potato sandwich on white bread with potato chips lifestyle when he could have had the Rueben on toasted marble rye with deliciously melted smoked Gouda and an added side of au ju dipping sauce and a pickle spear lifestyle
I will be calling my boring friends mashed potato sandwiches from this point on.
We have friends we call “the scoops” because it’s like two scoops of vanilla ice cream for dessert. By no meals awful, but far from exciting.
We call our friends (or acquaintances really) like that the pretzels cause you’d hang out with them/grab a handful if you saw them out at a party but you probably wouldn’t make em your first choice at the grocery store
I frequently refer to people as “being about as exciting as a baked potato” and I will be using this from now on, in addition to “the scoops”.
Ya’ll hating on potatoes like they are the most versatile food in the world…
Plain Bagel is always a good boring person insult
Absolutely NO mention of Phyllis and Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration?!?!
That seemed purely carnal
Every one thinks Jim and Pam are goals, but remember Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, paid $1000 to hug Phyllis.
Thank you. I was starting to think I was the only one who appreciated their relationship
Pam sucks. I’m 100% Team Karen. Go ahead and downvote me into oblivion. Deep down, you know I’m right.
Holly and Michael are the worthiest of relationship goals. I love how comfortable they both felt being so weird and wacky. And they clearly had a higher level of sexual chemistry than Pam/Jim.
I stand by this take
100% agreed with recent Office ‘hot’ takes. Jim should have stayed with Karen and Jim was an asshole. Pam was…present.