We Need A Comfort Movie Channel

We Need A Comfort Movie Channel

On Sunday, we all came to the realization that football season truly is over. I thought I could handle the Sunday loneliness until Bruno Mars performed during the Grammys and I realized I had no one around me to hold. But I digress…

I found myself bouncing around from channel to channel all day and night without being able to settle on something. I was scouring through channels with the fear of missing out (I refuse to use the acronym FOMO, OK) on some hidden gem that was being broadcast on a different network. I didn’t want to just watch TV; I wanted to know what else was on TV.

This got me thinking, why isn’t there a comfort network? One that just feels like home each and every time I turn it on. I don’t need to do anymore channel surfing; I know I can just fall back on my go-to network when my life is looking bleak.

My thinking is that all it would take is a network dedicated to play the same 12 movies every single day. Now I’m not talking about the same order day after day, though I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to it, just the same 12 options that are interchangeable as far as what time slots they are used in. Yes, I’m aware some movies are longer and shorter than others, let’s put that aside for arguments sake and assume that 12 movies would be perfect to create a 24 hour cycle around.

Let me clarify that I’m not talking about the 12 best movies ever made. This isn’t a network dedicated to Oscar award winners. No, these are 12 movies that I can turn on in bed hungover on a Sunday morning or tune into on a Wednesday night when I find myself hooting with the owls far too late for no apparent reason and be perfectly content with watching no matter what point of the movie is on.

You have to be able to watch it at the beginning, middle or even with 15 minutes remaining. Sure, you can probably recite every single line and have each character’s mannerisms down to a T – and that’s the point. I want to make a safe zone, if you will, of my own with this network.

Here are the 12 choices I would personally select to build my Network around:

1. Shawshank Redemption

We’re all just chipping away at life with a rock hammer of our own, whatever that means.

Get busy watching Shawshank or get busy dying.

2. Con Air

Sorry boss, but there’s only two men I trust. One of them is me. The other’s not you if you don’t like Con Air.

3. The Rock

Losers do their best, winners have perfected a shitty Sean Connery impersonation of their own.

4. Air Force One

Get off my plane if you aren’t a fan of Air Force One. In all seriousness, this probably isn’t the best movie to watch on a flight.

5. Goodfellas

What’s really funny is any list that doesn’t have Goodfellas on it. Go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox and think about what you’ve done.

6. Hook

My happy thought is a world where Hook is on TV every day. Bangarang.

7. Forest Gump

Stupid is as stupid does if you don’t stop to watch Forest Gump each and every time it’s on TV

8. The Sandlot

You’re killing me if this isn’t on your list. We could all use s’more Sandlot in our lives for-ev-er.

9. Back to the Future

If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88, you’re going to see some serious 80s movie action.

10. Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park, uh, finds a way into my life each and every time it’s on TV.

11. Braveheart

I fought like a warrior poet to get Braveheart on this live; I fought like Scotsmen, and I won the freedom to have William Wallace give me goosebumps everyday all day

12. Armageddon

I don’t wanna close my eyes,
I don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, Harry Stamper,
And I don’t wanna miss a thing.

I’m not going to lie – making that list took a lot out of me. I feel sick to my stomach leaving so many gems out there. I couldn’t even note those on my honorable mention list without second guessing myself.

It’s what I imagine choosing a favorite child is like. Though I’m sure that answer is much easier to come to than parents actually lead on – there’s always a dickhead or two in the mix. Sometimes you just have to make difficult decisions that are best for the team, though.

Are there better movies out there? Maybe. Probably. Okay, there definitely are. But I’ll put my network up against yours any day of the week.

What’s on your list?

Image via YouTube

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If you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!

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