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I’m loath to admit it, but sometimes I shop at Walmart. I scan those “People of Walmart” accounts hoping like hell that I haven’t been caught on my way home from the gym looking like a homeless sorority girl. I hate even going into the store. For some reason, it makes me feel like I need to shower, but it’s on my way home, and frankly, if I can save two bucks on a container to hold my 80 back up lipsticks, I’ll suck it up. But I may have to reconsider shopping there after learning about what they recently gave to some laid-off employees.
Early in April, the chain closed five stores in California, Texas, Oklahoma and Florida. In what seems like the largest coincidence ever, the company said that “plumbing problems” caused the stores to be closed at the same time for six months. Speculation is that the closures may be an attempt to quash protests over pay and working conditions that have recently taken place. If that’s true, it’s pretty shitty, but not as shitty as the document that was provided to the 2,200 employees that were laid off with little notice. The document, entitled “Coping With Transition,” was provided to by the UFCW’s Walmart division to Gawker and included such helpful pieces of advice as:
“Care for yourself by eating well, exercising and resting when needed.”
Nevermind that you don’t have a job anymore, so affording food is probably going to be an issue, you should definitely spring for that gym membership and a Temper-pedic!
“Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, chocolate and nicotine and depressants such as alcohol.”
Chocolate and wine are all I have left, you jerks.
“Give yourself time to recover.”
Sure, Walmart is giving the employees sixty days severance, but given that no one can actually live on what they would make at Walmart to begin with, I’m pretty sure taking a leisurely few weeks off to recover from the shock of being laid off with a few hours notice isn’t an option here.
“Seek help if reactions are interfering with job responsibilities.”
I literally have no words for this.
“Seek help from a professional counselor if symptoms persist.”
Maybe I should talk to someone. Oh, wait, I don’t have any insurance because I don’t have a job anymore. What’s that? I NEVER had insurance? You cheap bastards.
I think maybe I’ll start buying my socks and storage bins at Target..
[ Via Gawker]
Image via Niloo / Shutterstock.com
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Wal-Mart is a terrifying place regardless of its location and for that reason, I’m out.
I don’t see the problem here. People knew when they filed an application what they’d be making, and in which conditions they’d be working. If a union caused problems in my business and I could shut down the problem division without hurting my business, I’d do it too. The business is, and should be, free to decide to shutter a location if they have labor issues; just as I am free to not ever shop at Walmart.
In order for a union to actually protect you, the workers need to have some sort of actual skill. A bunch of random people who work in the same place have no business trying collective bargaining because the company can just clean house and start over with new employees. I don’t shop at Walmart but I’m not mad at them.
Hate to admit it but I buy the $3 tank tops from Wal Mart in bulk. They are the perfect run/gym shirt because I give zero fucks if it gets ruined, it only cost $3 and a feeling of guilt about the young Asian or Indian child who stitched it together in horrible working conditions. Thanks Wal Mart 🙂
Taco-
Exactly, but I’d expand: Unions have very little place at all anymore except to self-serve those in the union leadership. They certainly had their strengths at one point in history, but no longer.
Also, your username is bullshit, or I’d be posting this as you. Had to try it.
I don’t blame the employees for trying. But amen to this reply. There are very few professions that actually NEED union representation for protection. Police, fire, teachers (in some markets) etc. When you apply to Walmart, you know what you are getting into, if you don’t like it, start sending out new applications the day you get the job if you have to. In the end, retail employees unionizing could be horribly dangerous for businesses everywhere.
Yeah but my wallet is jibing the opposite to me for certain things.
Wal Mart, the Jerry Springer of retail stores.
Did Catie Warren change her screen name?
I worked for Walmart in college, and I can tell you they absolutely hate unions. In orientation a member of personnel tells you bluntly to stay away from unions or their could be consequences. Management is trained to look for signs of unionizing. In my opinion they are not wrong. If someone elects to work for any company, they knowingly accept terms of employment. Which for Walmart are pretty cut and dry.
There is a reason the Walmart in Mass is in a place like Lowell.
If you want to kill some time today going down a crazy, right wing rabbit hole, google “Jade Helm Wal-Mart.”
Doing this now, and I don’t regret it for a second. This is some of the most outlandish shit I’ve ever read.
Yeah people in my college town are losing their shit over the Jade Helm stuff. What a crock of shit.