Every time I hear the receptionist say “one moment, I’ll transfer you” I have a panic attack that my phone might be the one that’s about to ring.

I have to fire someone three days before Thanksgiving. PGP.

I’ve reached the age where I actually enjoy going to Bed, Bath & Beyond. PGP.

Housekeeping just switched our toilet paper from 3-ply quilted to commercial 2-ply. PGP.