My boss sees white and gold, I see blue and black. This explains so much.

The only thing I want for my birthday is a Dyson. PGP.

I was told to re-write the employee handbook. Does this mean I make the rules? I feel like Oprah. PGP.

Today my coworker told me I looked rough. I thought I looked nice today. PGP.

My coworkers always think I’m hungover when I’m really just tired. I wish I was as cool as they think. PGP.

Making a trip to the post office last three hours. PGP.

Having at least two coffee cups, a can of soda, empty mug and water bottle on your desk at any given time. PGP.

LinkedIn is my online dating site. PGP.

My boss walks in every time I’m about to hit a new level in my Flappy Bird knockoff. PGP.

The looks you get when you have the sniffles during a meeting. PGP.