When I get bored at work, I just get pictures of goats off the internet and send the pictures to my coworkers in emails marked “important.” PGP.

There’s a ginger in the cleaning crew that always looks annoyed and I’m a little afraid of him. PGP.

My manager and I spent most of today making stapled together paper stockings for everyone in the office with semi-appropriate drawings/decor. PGP.

Drank too much coffee late in the day, almost shit my pants at the gym. PGP.

Sometimes when people walk by my desk I just pick up the phone and yell “SELL! SELL! SELL!” PGP.

I let red wines breathe. PGP.

But there IS paper in “tray 1.” I JUST CHECKED! PGP.

Looking across the office at weird angles to see at what point your boss can see your monitor. PGP.