I love it when someone orders scotch and try to seem sophisticated. “I don’t see an 18 on the menu, hopefully they have a 15. A 12 just doesn’t cut it anymore.” Then when they go to order, they mispronounce the name of the distiller.
Fuck those momentum naysayers. Feeling good about myself? You bet I do. Got a hop in my step? Damn straight. Gonna let up? Nah, it’s time to turn up. Call me “Butter” cause I am on a roll.
This is one of the greatest weekends in sports. The draft, the Kentucky Derby, Money vs. Pac Man. And those are just the highlights. You can find out a lot about a girl based on this weekend alone.
I usually head straight for the door without looking at anyone. Once I’m out of the building, that joy is overcome with fear that I’ll get a call or text from a coworker.
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Even with Catie in them?
On scotch:
I love it when someone orders scotch and try to seem sophisticated. “I don’t see an 18 on the menu, hopefully they have a 15. A 12 just doesn’t cut it anymore.” Then when they go to order, they mispronounce the name of the distiller.
What about your friends at PGP?
Fuck those momentum naysayers. Feeling good about myself? You bet I do. Got a hop in my step? Damn straight. Gonna let up? Nah, it’s time to turn up. Call me “Butter” cause I am on a roll.
I bought some Woodford Reserve a couple of weeks ago. My budget still has a huge dent in it. So smooth, though.
I feel bad for the guys who have mistakenly dated you.
Yes! Particularly from the Silicon Valley/TED Talk types. Do they think they invented the damn word?
Metamucil.
This is one of the greatest weekends in sports. The draft, the Kentucky Derby, Money vs. Pac Man. And those are just the highlights. You can find out a lot about a girl based on this weekend alone.
Do most people actually watch the draft? Serious question. I check the updated results, but it’s not a sporting event I watch.
I usually head straight for the door without looking at anyone. Once I’m out of the building, that joy is overcome with fear that I’ll get a call or text from a coworker.
It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to realize you have ADHD. I could tell based on the way you wrote this column.
Blame the chick. Your friends are always cool until they want to marry a girl who wants to offer a vegan dinner option.