The annual “What’s your address? We’re sending out Christmas cards.” texts from your friends who got married during the year. PGP.

“Please find the attached…”

Coworkers volunteering to show you pictures of their young kids in Halloween costumes. PGP.

Elevator small talk. PGP.

The stampede that ensues after the “there’s leftovers from last night’s event in the kitchen” email. PGP.

I’ve started getting mad when people speed. PGP.

People going crazy over the Fed rate hike and I’m over here like what the fuck am I going to ear for dinner?

Being told, “We must be on the same schedule.” when you see the same old guy in the bathroom on back-to-back trips. PGP.

“I’ll shoot it over to you now.”

Having ambitions to make chicken parmesan for dinner, being so lazy I settle for a rotisserie chicken instead. PGP