If matching with single moms on Bumble makes me a pimp, consider me Dan Bilzerian. PGP.

Decided to just work from home today and tell nobody. Not a single person noticed. PGP.

If I hear one more human being say “crushed it” I’m just gonna snap.

Being the only human in a meeting of 100+ people who is under the age of 35.

My parents were already married at my age.

I used to wonder what “your love life’s DOA” from the Friends theme song was like. Now I know.

“I’m sorry, but the person you called has a voice mailbox that has not been setup yet. Goodbye.”

Sometimes I feel unprofessional for being a freelancer who works from home..But then I just roll over and take a 2:00 pm nap.

The most daring thing I’ve done this week was like an Instagram pic by a girl three points out of my league. PGP.

Today in the middle of a meeting I dropped my pen on purpose, just to feel alive again. It was a rush. PGP.