1: “How’d you meet your wife?” 2: “Tinder.” PGP.

I’ve taken a total of two legitimate sick days in my first six months at my job. My manager told me at if I keep up the pace, I won’t make it a year. PGP.

Car naps at lunch becoming more appealing than the thought of eating. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

I share a cubical with my supervisor. He sends me passive aggressive emails daily, but we haven’t spoke in weeks. PGP.