Forgetting your headphones is like the end of the world. PGP.

Took off a day to recover from my weekend. Felt incredibly guilty about it all day. PGP.

Friendly reminders are never friendly. PGP.

Headphones: The Universal Human Sign of “Do NOT talk to me.”

I still throw up in parking lots. PGP.

I have my headphones in so no one will talk to me but they aren’t even plugged in. PGP.

This morning I parked next to a guy sleeping in his car. PGP.

My boss has one of those clocks that plays bird noises on the hour. PGP.

I can recognize cars I’ve seen before by their license plates on my commute. PGP.

Please don’t hold the elevator. I’d rather wait than say “good morning.” PGP.