My coworker just looked at me and announced that he’s going to do his best to speak only in song today. PGP.

Haven’t gotten a Tinder match in about a week. I’m telling myself it’s an issue with their servers. PGP.

My mom told me she was proud of me. I think she was trying to convince herself more than anything. PGP.

I turned 25 yesterday, then had a nightmare that my car insurance didn’t go down like everyone said it would. PGP.

Friends with benefits now means my friends have health insurance and a 401k. #PGP

Saying, “I’ve never seen the market do anything like this before!” so it sounds like you’ve followed the market for longer than your 10 months of employment. #PGP

The Super Bowl was just as exciting as my job. PGP.

If one more person says, “See you next year!” as they leave the office, I’m going to lose my shit. PGP.

Getting really excited about the convenience of online bill paying. PGP.

Suddenly becoming a diehard fan of your boss’s favorite team. PGP.