This…was just amazing, and for not the reasons intended by the author. Cross-fitters are so incredibly annoying to people like me. See, I’m someone who does have the motivation to get the gym every morning at 5:15 (even throughout law school and now while I’m working as an attorney). But tell a cross-fitter that, and you’ll be shot down with “but it wasn’t a cross-fit workout so it doesn’t really count”, and which point said cross-fitter will tell you his WOD time like “BEAT THAT BRO”. The world must bear witness to the constant self high-fives and “we’re awesome CUZ CROSSFIT AND COLORFUL CALF SLEEVES DURRRRR”. No you’re most definitely not, so you just stay in the shadows like other cults, for the good of mankind.
And what does it say about you that getting cheered on by other members during workouts is a pivotal factor in your satisfaction with Cross-fit? Hint: it says that you’re a person who is constantly searching for validation.
And finally: HOLY SHIT, I can’t believe #5. No, cross-fit couples are just like other couples who workout together at the gym; the object of everyone else’s scorn and disgust. I can’t tell you how much pity I feel for a dude who has to #CouplesLift with his girlfriend every day. (Bro, if it’s light enough for her to spot you, you’re doing it wrong). Back to the point: I’m not a sociologist, but I’m pretty sure that there is no statistical evidence linking fake hip-thrust pulls-ups together to marital fidelity. That you would suggest so furthers the thrust of Mr. Bolen’s argument: y’all are batsh*t crazy.
Sincerely,
-A semi-normal male who finds a happy balance between working out, boozing, contributing to society and being an emotionally stable adult.
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This…was just amazing, and for not the reasons intended by the author. Cross-fitters are so incredibly annoying to people like me. See, I’m someone who does have the motivation to get the gym every morning at 5:15 (even throughout law school and now while I’m working as an attorney). But tell a cross-fitter that, and you’ll be shot down with “but it wasn’t a cross-fit workout so it doesn’t really count”, and which point said cross-fitter will tell you his WOD time like “BEAT THAT BRO”. The world must bear witness to the constant self high-fives and “we’re awesome CUZ CROSSFIT AND COLORFUL CALF SLEEVES DURRRRR”. No you’re most definitely not, so you just stay in the shadows like other cults, for the good of mankind.
And what does it say about you that getting cheered on by other members during workouts is a pivotal factor in your satisfaction with Cross-fit? Hint: it says that you’re a person who is constantly searching for validation.
And finally: HOLY SHIT, I can’t believe #5. No, cross-fit couples are just like other couples who workout together at the gym; the object of everyone else’s scorn and disgust. I can’t tell you how much pity I feel for a dude who has to #CouplesLift with his girlfriend every day. (Bro, if it’s light enough for her to spot you, you’re doing it wrong). Back to the point: I’m not a sociologist, but I’m pretty sure that there is no statistical evidence linking fake hip-thrust pulls-ups together to marital fidelity. That you would suggest so furthers the thrust of Mr. Bolen’s argument: y’all are batsh*t crazy.
Sincerely,
-A semi-normal male who finds a happy balance between working out, boozing, contributing to society and being an emotionally stable adult.