I’m with you. Wine tastes better when it’s free, girls beds are exponentially better because their thread count is off the charts and like you said, you can abort just as easily as a fifa rage quit. Plus if your own your home field, there’s always that chance you pop open your laptop for a second and you left up your porn window from the pre-date session.
Sunday might overtake Friday during Game of Thrones season, and if you’re a fan of a playoff bound football team. On Friday, I could get fired and I’d still be in a good mood. Possibly the greatest mood, depending on the severance package of course.
Ate Chipotle this weekend knowing full well that the outbreak had spread to my state. The line was almost non-existent, and the rush you get from possibly poisoning yourself is worth the risk. What’s the worst the can happen, I use a few sick days and take a week off from poisoning myself via alcohol consumption? This is just fear mongering, just like the “Ebola” outbreak.
Without a shower in the morning, I would be unemployed.
Without coffee in the morning, I would be unemployed.
With both a shower and coffee in the morning, I’m barely employed. These two things are the fabric that holds my life together.
Insane that Thanksgiving even needs saving. What’s not to like about seeing family, eating to the point of nausea while drinking at whatever pace you’d like, all while sitting on your designated couch spot. Also don’t have to spend a paycheck or two on Christmas gifts.
Same here my friend. I was self medicating with advil at the age of 12 as per my god damn doctor! Spent a season throwing underhand at first base. Nowadays, I still play first base in softball and can’t even throw around before the game. Only have so many throws left in me before I lose the ability to even use my arm to write.
A bender in college mean’t drinking for the better half of a month while missing almost no class. Nowadays, I’ll consider a bender a Thu-Sun affair that ends up ruining a full week and ruining any and all work productivity. Sad times.
Someone in my office said “I’ll never vote for a Woman who can’t control her man”. I work in a government office under a republican regime. I fit in perfectly.
This is a no-brainer, I’m taking Friday’s off 10/10. If I have off Monday, somehow I manage to get the scaries on Sunday regardless, and I just drink heavier trying to enjoy the day. Then Monday ends up being a day where I realize the rest of the world is being productive and this degenerate is hungover laying on the couch dreading Tuesday. I can’t even go pick up a slice of pizza on an off day without feeling like a bum.
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This put a smile on my face, a smile that was deathly needed.
There’s a fine line between being a genius, and being a psychopath. And I push that line every single day.
Ever heard of Bonnie Rotten? No?…me neither.
I’m with you. Wine tastes better when it’s free, girls beds are exponentially better because their thread count is off the charts and like you said, you can abort just as easily as a fifa rage quit. Plus if your own your home field, there’s always that chance you pop open your laptop for a second and you left up your porn window from the pre-date session.
You butchered this list…
From Worst to Best:
Tuesday
Monday
Wednesday
Thursday
Sunday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday might overtake Friday during Game of Thrones season, and if you’re a fan of a playoff bound football team. On Friday, I could get fired and I’d still be in a good mood. Possibly the greatest mood, depending on the severance package of course.
OFF
Ate Chipotle this weekend knowing full well that the outbreak had spread to my state. The line was almost non-existent, and the rush you get from possibly poisoning yourself is worth the risk. What’s the worst the can happen, I use a few sick days and take a week off from poisoning myself via alcohol consumption? This is just fear mongering, just like the “Ebola” outbreak.
Lost it at “Ermahgerd! Lurve the table!”. I will admit that I actually read that part aloud just to get the full effect.
Without a shower in the morning, I would be unemployed.
Without coffee in the morning, I would be unemployed.
With both a shower and coffee in the morning, I’m barely employed. These two things are the fabric that holds my life together.
Cush rulled, glassed filled, I prefer the better things.
Insane that Thanksgiving even needs saving. What’s not to like about seeing family, eating to the point of nausea while drinking at whatever pace you’d like, all while sitting on your designated couch spot. Also don’t have to spend a paycheck or two on Christmas gifts.
I absolutely crush mixed drinks and I’m not ashamed to say it. Then again, I also crush beers, and shots. Ya, I could have a problem.
Not much of a stout fan and I love to crush a (few) IPA’s, but there’s a time and place for a good Guinness.
You must have never drank a Guiness after a good pour from a good tap. That’s the only possibility.
Same here my friend. I was self medicating with advil at the age of 12 as per my god damn doctor! Spent a season throwing underhand at first base. Nowadays, I still play first base in softball and can’t even throw around before the game. Only have so many throws left in me before I lose the ability to even use my arm to write.
A bender in college mean’t drinking for the better half of a month while missing almost no class. Nowadays, I’ll consider a bender a Thu-Sun affair that ends up ruining a full week and ruining any and all work productivity. Sad times.
Someone in my office said “I’ll never vote for a Woman who can’t control her man”. I work in a government office under a republican regime. I fit in perfectly.
1/1, would.
This is a no-brainer, I’m taking Friday’s off 10/10. If I have off Monday, somehow I manage to get the scaries on Sunday regardless, and I just drink heavier trying to enjoy the day. Then Monday ends up being a day where I realize the rest of the world is being productive and this degenerate is hungover laying on the couch dreading Tuesday. I can’t even go pick up a slice of pizza on an off day without feeling like a bum.
Savers, my personal wardrobe and a little creativity is all you need. Or enough alcohol and a ton of apathy, either works.