Damn you sound mad as hell lol. But to be perfectly honest with you, sometimes, yes. On a week like last when every fucking time I check my news feed I’m bombarded with extremely painful stories and videos of black people being assaulted and abused and humiliated, it’s a constant reminder of so many hurtful things. When I’m in my feelings like that I’m sure as hell not down to explain why I don’t feel safe entering primarily white spaces only to have my feelings written off as me being overly paranoid, making everything about race, etc. Hell yeah, I’m paranoid–sometimes I’m scared as fuck, but not for nothing. I don’t always want to explain to my friends of different backgrounds that as a socially anxious introvert I don’t have the energy to analyze my every move to make sure I’m not being perceived in whatever type of way, or politely deal with being gawked at, questioned (no matter how well meaning) about my hair or skin, subjected to harassment that is both racial and sexual. That shit is so embarrassing and exhausting sometimes, and even worse is telling some white people about it will really have me questioning my own damn reality at times, like am I being paranoid? Is it all in my head? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just chill and enjoy myself. Trust me when I say I get my answer to all of those questions though.
So yeah, sometimes I do fear telling people about my feelings and having them explain to me that my emotions and fears are not valid, so I keep that shit my myself and keep it moving. Other times I go off ¯_(ツ)_/¯
There are many unique reasons why people do this, some of them simply boiling down to personality types. As someone that has a tendency to drop off the face of the earth for days, weeks, or months to privately work through pain, my opinion is that if it hurts or negatively impacts others you should provide some context. For example, “I’m sorry I haven’t responded to any of your texts lately I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed and in need of solitude.” My friends and family now all understand that this is how I operate and while they will check in if I go quiet for too long they have come to trust that I will resurface.
I do feel bad sometimes about this as I understand people can feel helpless if you don’t let them in, but I think others also need to understand that your crisis really isn’t about them. As long as your tendency to process inwardly is not rooted in shame, then it’s absolutely appropriate and wise to do so. There may come a point though, when solitary processing spirals into a darker form ruminating and you might need someone to help pull you out, so be mindful and be sure you know when/how to ask for the support you need.
Lol yes there are times when I could definitely stand to be quiet, but having Becky and Tyler whitesplain diversity to me when it’s both a personal and professional area of expertise of mine is not one of them.
MTA is a mess but still seems preferable to having a car or relying on public transit in a city that cannot decide if it actually wants to offer public transit for real (I.e most American cities).
Lol yes I am born and raised in Los Angeles and have lived in San Francisco for almost 10 years and have worked on multiple projects looking at census data with regard to city demographics. San Francisco’s diversity numbers are absolutely tragic and getting worse every year, you can see that simply by visiting and looking around. Please don’t mention San Francisco in a comment about diversity because l o fucking l
People no longer attend music festivals for their intended purpose which is why huge festivals like Coachella, OSL, Bonaroo etc have become garbage. There are a few worthwhile festivals that showcase and highlight quality artists like Pitchfork, FYF (sometimes), Afropunk, Treasure Island (rip) and a few others but even with those a day pass is usually the best move. The line ups for this year’s festival season are mostly tragic though.
Eating ass is not something people are doing “now”, I think people are just shamelessly discussing it now. Dudes have been trying to eat my ass since I first became sexually active and for years I was very confused because no one ever discussed it as a thing that happened and I was self-conscious so I never allowed it. Once I finally did let it happen though I was like……word. One dude explained it pretty succinctly: “if your booty looks delicious it’s getting ate, that’s just facts.”
Truth. I live in the Bay Area where almost every company hemorrhages money on stupid ass perks like this and the long-ish term effects are actually dystopian.
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But if a white person has any solutions to those feelings other than “stop tripping” and “stop playing the victim” then I am all ears.
Damn you sound mad as hell lol. But to be perfectly honest with you, sometimes, yes. On a week like last when every fucking time I check my news feed I’m bombarded with extremely painful stories and videos of black people being assaulted and abused and humiliated, it’s a constant reminder of so many hurtful things. When I’m in my feelings like that I’m sure as hell not down to explain why I don’t feel safe entering primarily white spaces only to have my feelings written off as me being overly paranoid, making everything about race, etc. Hell yeah, I’m paranoid–sometimes I’m scared as fuck, but not for nothing. I don’t always want to explain to my friends of different backgrounds that as a socially anxious introvert I don’t have the energy to analyze my every move to make sure I’m not being perceived in whatever type of way, or politely deal with being gawked at, questioned (no matter how well meaning) about my hair or skin, subjected to harassment that is both racial and sexual. That shit is so embarrassing and exhausting sometimes, and even worse is telling some white people about it will really have me questioning my own damn reality at times, like am I being paranoid? Is it all in my head? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just chill and enjoy myself. Trust me when I say I get my answer to all of those questions though.
So yeah, sometimes I do fear telling people about my feelings and having them explain to me that my emotions and fears are not valid, so I keep that shit my myself and keep it moving. Other times I go off ¯_(ツ)_/¯
There are many unique reasons why people do this, some of them simply boiling down to personality types. As someone that has a tendency to drop off the face of the earth for days, weeks, or months to privately work through pain, my opinion is that if it hurts or negatively impacts others you should provide some context. For example, “I’m sorry I haven’t responded to any of your texts lately I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed and in need of solitude.” My friends and family now all understand that this is how I operate and while they will check in if I go quiet for too long they have come to trust that I will resurface.
I do feel bad sometimes about this as I understand people can feel helpless if you don’t let them in, but I think others also need to understand that your crisis really isn’t about them. As long as your tendency to process inwardly is not rooted in shame, then it’s absolutely appropriate and wise to do so. There may come a point though, when solitary processing spirals into a darker form ruminating and you might need someone to help pull you out, so be mindful and be sure you know when/how to ask for the support you need.
Lol yes there are times when I could definitely stand to be quiet, but having Becky and Tyler whitesplain diversity to me when it’s both a personal and professional area of expertise of mine is not one of them.
MTA is a mess but still seems preferable to having a car or relying on public transit in a city that cannot decide if it actually wants to offer public transit for real (I.e most American cities).
I think I might be just a tad more qualified to speak on diversity and city demographics than you and your boy…. just a hunch.
It means shit to me when I am able to find products and services that are representative of my culture without having to travel miles away.
Lol yes I am born and raised in Los Angeles and have lived in San Francisco for almost 10 years and have worked on multiple projects looking at census data with regard to city demographics. San Francisco’s diversity numbers are absolutely tragic and getting worse every year, you can see that simply by visiting and looking around. Please don’t mention San Francisco in a comment about diversity because l o fucking l
I have not had a car since 2009 and I hope I never have to own one again.
Adorable take!
And unparalleled cultural diversity
For real. So crazy how you can mention being on bc to a casual dude in the hotation and suddenly he thinks he’s going in raw. Issa no.
Same. June 2013. Waiting patiently for a non lethal, compostable cigarette to hit the market.
Never could tell if Karen was insufferable or it was another case of Rashida Jones playing every role she takes on like a sock puppet.
In what reality? Karen is dry as hell
People no longer attend music festivals for their intended purpose which is why huge festivals like Coachella, OSL, Bonaroo etc have become garbage. There are a few worthwhile festivals that showcase and highlight quality artists like Pitchfork, FYF (sometimes), Afropunk, Treasure Island (rip) and a few others but even with those a day pass is usually the best move. The line ups for this year’s festival season are mostly tragic though.
Oh sorry to interrupt your fun. What’s more fun than sexual assault?
Eating ass is not something people are doing “now”, I think people are just shamelessly discussing it now. Dudes have been trying to eat my ass since I first became sexually active and for years I was very confused because no one ever discussed it as a thing that happened and I was self-conscious so I never allowed it. Once I finally did let it happen though I was like……word. One dude explained it pretty succinctly: “if your booty looks delicious it’s getting ate, that’s just facts.”
Proudly admitting to being “rapey” (more commonly known to many as being a rapist) is by far the grossest sexual act you can commit.
Truth. I live in the Bay Area where almost every company hemorrhages money on stupid ass perks like this and the long-ish term effects are actually dystopian.