Amber alerts while in the stall. PGP.

Drunk sex makes my lower back hurt – PGP

Realizing you booked the wrong date on a flight – PGP

The cruel irony that the hottest person in the office is always in HR -PGP

Watching all these Ice Bucket Challenges make me glad I don’t have that many friends anymore. PGP.

When your drinking schedule on Saturday is 2 to 8 rather than 8 to 2. PGP.

My idea of “Turnt Up” is a large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. PGP.