A few years ago in undergrad I wrote a program. After identifying statistically significant indicators (age differential, hometown distance, facial symmetry, etc..) it assigns each lady an appropriately weighted score. The past 4 seasons it’s correctly identified the final 3 women.
Pumped for this season even with the Muscle Virgin at the helm
I feel like the last few columns have made me actually kind of like Girl and Todd. Todd used to have to be drug to these brunches and Girl was comically insufferable/unreasonable. Now they seem like pleasant, normal millennials. Someone please help me I’d never thought I’d start becoming emotionally invested in these.
No, Josh T., they aren’t your friends. It can seem that way after years together and all the face time you put in with these people. After all, they support you as a couple and you really care about this girl right? So it’s starts slow, you ditch out on the boys one night to go to some housewarming party, then you miss a tailgate for another birthday party and you slowly chop away at your friends, REAL friends, to put your best foot forward with this girl. And then she leaves you. And you scramble trying to make sense of it all. You didn’t just lose your girlfriend, you lost your entire social circle. And so you cry into a bathroom towel trying to convince yourself you’re not a friendless loser and you reach out to the boys again. Only in your sabbatical of brotherhood, they all have girlfriends now. And the cycle continues.
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I had a ball gag on most of my honeymoon. Took a lot of pressure off conversation
I mean…yeah
A few years ago in undergrad I wrote a program. After identifying statistically significant indicators (age differential, hometown distance, facial symmetry, etc..) it assigns each lady an appropriately weighted score. The past 4 seasons it’s correctly identified the final 3 women.
Pumped for this season even with the Muscle Virgin at the helm
Todd is DRAINED
Hookem, but hit up Rainey tonight then Junes, Cenote, or Sour Duck for brunch. Pour out a bloody and mimo for Dorn and Dave
Ancient ass
One question: Are we going to get what we want?
I thought it was a wrap on House of Cards…don’t know if I have the stamina
Like REALLY enjoyed this. Tell me more about the bears and deer
I really enjoyed this
I feel like the last few columns have made me actually kind of like Girl and Todd. Todd used to have to be drug to these brunches and Girl was comically insufferable/unreasonable. Now they seem like pleasant, normal millennials. Someone please help me I’d never thought I’d start becoming emotionally invested in these.
Girl saying “lusts over you” evoked a strange Sunday School teacher pseudo-sexual vibe is never felt before. I’m gonna chase that feeling
Heyyyy batter batter
No, Josh T., they aren’t your friends. It can seem that way after years together and all the face time you put in with these people. After all, they support you as a couple and you really care about this girl right? So it’s starts slow, you ditch out on the boys one night to go to some housewarming party, then you miss a tailgate for another birthday party and you slowly chop away at your friends, REAL friends, to put your best foot forward with this girl. And then she leaves you. And you scramble trying to make sense of it all. You didn’t just lose your girlfriend, you lost your entire social circle. And so you cry into a bathroom towel trying to convince yourself you’re not a friendless loser and you reach out to the boys again. Only in your sabbatical of brotherhood, they all have girlfriends now. And the cycle continues.
J Tsu shaped a generation
Girl pronounces it Tim-o-thiss