FreeCoffee

I have a hard time justifying spending $20 on new underwear but I have no problem spending $65 on a round of golf for the day.

Member Since 09/16/2014

  • FreeCoffee 9 years ago on Shower Sex Is Overrated

    1. girl wears a skirt.
    2. lay down a towel.
    3. she gets on top.
    4. shake off towel and use to wipe fluids off body.
    keeps the sand off of sensitive areas and she does all the hard work. how is that difficult?

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  • FreeCoffee 9 years ago on Got engaged last week and the only question I get is "Have you guys set a date yet?"

    It’s not. I just got engaged a week ago as well and Ive been asked this more times than I care to remember. but not one single person as asked me if I want to get blackout knee walking drunk to celebrate.

    I thought I was going to be drunk for a month straight with all the free drinks people were going to offer me to celebrate. this is bull crap.

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  • FreeCoffee 9 years ago on HSBC Employees Find Out That A Mock Beheading Is A Poor Team Building Exercise

    I did a team building exercise once where we had to build a marshmallow and toothpick tower. part of the exercise was having a pretend “manager” come in and destroy it (idk what the fuck the point of that was).
    I wanted to cut his fucking head off for smashing my sugar/wood master piece. I imagine that this video had a similar build-up leading to the recorded events shown here…

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  • FreeCoffee 10 years ago on What A Daddy’s Girl Does On Father’s Day Without Her Dad

    My girlfriend of 2 years lost her father shortly before we started dating. Holidays are hard for her and I never know if there is anything I can do or say. I have come to terms with the fact that I wont ever have anything to say or anything that I can do. The loss of a parent is a pain that I have yet to encounter. But watching my girlfriend, whom I love with all my heart, be as hurt as she is and knowing that I cant do anything is a little painful for me. I just try to be strong for her now because someday I will need her to be strong for me when I have to deal with her pain.

    Keep your chin up J&J. I hope you and your family can have a good weekend with dozens and dozens of cookies. I’ll be sure to keep y’all in my thoughts and prayers.

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  • FreeCoffee 10 years ago on 'Tom From MySpace' Is Still Dominating Life

    I WAS feeling good about coming into work at 3AM today so I could leave at 11AM to hit a noon tee time and start the weekend early. Then I read this and am reminded that there are even failed entrepreneurs with lives that I will never have. Thanks for crushing my soul on an early Friday morning.

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  • FreeCoffee 10 years ago on I'm A Sell Out

    What in the flying fuck does “white privilege” have to do with this man’s identity crisis? Do the world a favor and stab your dick with a soldering iron so we don’t have to deal with the thought of your spawn walking this earth.

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  • FreeCoffee 10 years ago on Things Guys Do After Graduation: Try To Golf

    I was that random the other week on a par 3 10th hole. I met up with 3 senior fellas that were playing behind me and I was solo. I was last to go and I sliced the fuck out of the ball with my 8-iron and came very close to taking out one of the guys out that was standing almost directly to the right of the tee box.

    gotta close that club face up…

    fuck.

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  • FreeCoffee 10 years ago on The Worst Thing That Can Happen To You On A Golf Course

    I can tell you it was 6 beers deep but I cant guarantee the accuracy of the statement 🙁

    the truth is this, I now have a pair of khakis that I look at each time I go golfing. They remind me that as long as I don’t sit on a hotdog with an egregious amount of mustard on it, it was a good day on the links. and yes, I still ate the hotdog.

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  • FreeCoffee 10 years ago on The Worst Thing That Can Happen To You On A Golf Course

    Worst thing that can happen? I was the solo random guy one day when I needed to get away from the real world and I gut out of work early one day at lunch to hit the greens (everyone gets senior pricing on Wednesday if you tee off prior to 3pm at one of my favorite places). Front 9 was ok. 2 of the 4 left and it was me on one other fella that stuck it out after the turn. We got hot dogs to keep us going and I sat in mine after sitting it on my cart seat and forgot it was there. had to play the rest of the round with mustard all over my ass. the guy I was with was cool and we swapped numbers to golf again, but he saved me as “Colonel Mustard” in his phone. win some, lose some.

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