Wife said I have to turn my Instagram to “private”. Now I will never get 100 likes. PGP.

My wife turned a discussion about me getting a raise in the near future into a fight. PGP.

Forgetting the attachment. PGP.

My wife said I couldn’t run through the neighborhood without a shirt. PGP.

I am still expected to work at least 40 hours this week. PGP.

Perfecting the suburban neighbor wave. PGP.

Stayed in to watch Shark Tank last night. It was a re-run. PGP.

Not needing an alarm clock. PGP.

Seriously considering failing the company’s drug test on purpose. PGP.

“I can’t wait to go to bed tonight,” on a Friday. PGP.