My 11-year-old cousin gets more Instagram likes than I do. PGP.

Forgetting your work computer password after a long weekend and getting locked out. PGP.

The only napkins in my house are from Chipotle. PGP.

Getting to the point where I can’t ignore my lactose intolerance anymore. PGP.

“Let’s discuss offline” – said during an in-person meeting. PGP.

My ex’s ex is dating my other ex. PGP.

Didn’t talk to a single high school friend while home for vacation. PGP.

Considered extending my cross country business trip but decided against because I have no friends there. PGP

Great, I’ll circle back shortly.

My workout today was jogging to the Chinese takeout place.