Fitbit giving me weekly reminders of how lazy I am. PGP.

The 48 hour grace period you get before your “alma mater” calls looking for donations…. PGP

Sometimes I feel unprofessional for being a freelancer who works from home..But then I just roll over and take a 2:00 pm nap.

Avoiding bathroom eye contact with coworkers, like two shits passing in the night. PGP.

All of my phone calls with coworkers last about 20 seconds, and someone always ends up saying “Just email me that information.”

Tuscany taste, Yellow Tail budget. PGP

Was asked why I don’t have kids yet today. PGP.

Frantically pressing the close door button in the elevator at the sound of approaching footsteps. PGP.