“We should get you trained up on that”. PGP.

Rolling into the office 4 hangover shits deep. PGP.

Waking up to realize your animal shit on the floor, rolled in it, and napped in 10 different spots. On a Monday. PGP.

If my office is cluttered I’m “unorganized” but if it’s clean and tidy I’m “not busy”. PGP.

Being too tired to have sex. PGP. Doing it anyway because you stayed the night and don’t want her to think you’ve transitioned into legitimately dating. PGP.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Monday. PGP.

I can never tell if my boss is joking or actually thinks I don’t do anything here. PGP.

Clients who earn triple my salary from dividends alone. PGP.

Computer is getting too slow to pull off quick tab-switching. PGP.

“First ever bar fight” scaries. PGP.