My sister set a destination wedding that I can’t afford. PGP.

I’m so bored, I just watched a snapchat story about Toronto. PGP

My Venmo transactions got me called into a sit down with HR. PGP

My doctor just voluntarily offered me a Xanax prescription. I’m here for the flu. PGP.

I recently added Anheuser-Busch to my stock portfolio. Now my unbridled drinking habit is an investment. PGP.

Seeing the “now hiring managers” sign at the drive-thru, and actually thinking about it. PGP.

Facebook reminding me that I had a really shitty year. PGP.

Spending money like Kevin McCallister. Making money like Uncle Frank. PGP.

Young enough to hate gray hairs. Too poor to do anything about it. PGP.