Why yes Netflix, I am a 25 year old dude who lives alone “still” watching New Girl on Sunday night. Is that so wrong? It makes me happy.

Pants comin’ off, on a Tuesday. Box of wine and a Redbox Movie. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.

I always wondered why people voluntarily stay late at work, then my girlfriend moved in with me. PGP.

Does my pee smell like coffee, or does the coffee smell like pee? PGP.

The only time I ever wash my hands after going to the bathroom is when someone else is there. Even then, I pull a Costanza and just run some water. PGP.

Not being able to get your hilarious thought into 140 characters. PGP.

“Summer” photo albums on Facebook where girls are fully clothed. PGP.

If you delete the messages, it didn’t happen. PGP.