Coming home to eat leftovers on your couch in your underwear and watch Netflix. PGP.

Was forwarded a meeting invite. It started 5 minutes ago. PGP.

Dreading your coworkers’ attempts at April Fools

Emailing your friend a link rather than posting it on their Facebook wall

Drank tequila on Saturday night. I’ll be feeling that ’til Tuesday

Looking for a girlfriend with an in-unit washer and dryer

Ordering the 2 for $20 at Chili’s so you have lunch for tomorrow. PGP.

My computer has required me to reboot it three times already today for updates. PGP.

I have a new cubicle neighbor! I hate my new cubicle neighbor. PGP.

When living life on the wild side is taking the case off your iPhone. PGP.