Just put $100 I won from horse betting into my savings account and it may be the most responsible decision I’ll make all year. PGP.

The meeting before the meeting. PGP.

No, I am not attending your dress-up themed party this weekend. PGP.

Chasing heart burn medication with Miller High Life. PGP.

“Let me tie up a few loose ends and get back to you.”

Explaining your Fantasy Football team name on the first date.

My cubicle is basically just a cesspool of my own farts.

My Mom hasn’t done my laundry since I was in 7th grade.

There’s someone in this city that wants to have sex with me, right? RIGHT?! PGP.

I did No-Shave November and no one noticed. PGP.