The fighting neighbors decided they needed to celebrate their visit from the police with a party last night. I don’t really have a good story to do with it except they are trash and I’m running on 5 hours sleep the past two days. God bless coffee and God bless my right to fake befriend these neighbors so I can upperdeck their toilets at a dinner party.
You’re an emotional rollercoaster, my man. I saw a guy on Instagram that said he turned 30,000$ into 30,000,000$ and he lives the life HE wants today, not tomorrow. So it can be done if he said it can
As a heavily tattoos individual (none visible with a tshirt on) this is the last time or place to get a tattoo. All it takes is one drunk guy bumping into your and your cute little heart turns into a bearded dragon penis within the blink of an eye.
Since I wasn’t a complete waste of a human this weekend I’ll share the story of my new neighbors and their terrible weekend.
11:06 pm: walk by the heat what sounds like fighting inside but blow it off as a movie with the volume up
12:13 am: lay in bed as I can clearly hear extreme yelling at each other. Apparently she is a “psycho bitch” and he’s “out of control with his drinking”
2:09 am: jolt out of my sleep to a loud door slam. They are now outside. She’s still a “psycho bitch” but he’s “not even that drunk”
***fighting escalates from here***
3:20 am: they are back inside. I go outside and can see/hear things still being yelled but also objects are clearly being thrown around. I decide it’s time to call 911.
3:40 am: police arrive. We are all outside (yes, I kept my shirt off in case the COPS camera were there. I wanted to be the token shirtless guy)
4:30 am: police are gone. “Not that drunk” guy was arrested. I’m so pumped up there is no chance I’m going to sleep
5:30 am: I’m tires of watching HGTV reruns. Take dog on long walk and make myself a big breakfast
Just be yourself. But don’t. Be the man they want you to be, have patience, then by the time you disappoint them their daughter will already be in love with you and fight them on anything they have to say about you. It’s what I did and now I’m happily engaged.
Tonight I’m going for a mega chill evening but I’m not opposed to having a good story about some Houston PGPers I met up with for the fiancé tomorrow since she works tonight (19thholeguy@gmail.com, let’s get weird)
Saturday I am getting a haircut, getting fitted for my wedding tux, and hanging out with my fiancé and her offensively hot friends at the pool.
Sunday I’m going to eat a lot of snacks and take a few power naps. Have a blessed weekend y’all.
Things Girls Do is Will’s baby. I find no fault in him dragging it out BECAUSE I have a feeling it’s less by choice and more out of necessity as he ponders and creates the perfect proposal (or not proposal) situation. After all he and the readers have invested in the series, had he quickly published a proposal (or not proposal) piece that was in any way a let down, we’d all be devastated (Will included) so I think we need to just give it time and more importantly stop criticizing a modern day Shakespeare until his life’s work is done.
Bill, we’ve had our differences, but your reasonable and unreasonable love for America has me singing a different tune. If you’re ever in Houston, let’s get a drink and discuss American supremacy
Advertise
Depending on where you are, Southwest Airlines Visa. I have the spending habits of a poor man and I haven’t paid for a southwest flight in years.
The fighting neighbors decided they needed to celebrate their visit from the police with a party last night. I don’t really have a good story to do with it except they are trash and I’m running on 5 hours sleep the past two days. God bless coffee and God bless my right to fake befriend these neighbors so I can upperdeck their toilets at a dinner party.
Just doing it how the really rich guy on Instagram did it…
You’re an emotional rollercoaster, my man. I saw a guy on Instagram that said he turned 30,000$ into 30,000,000$ and he lives the life HE wants today, not tomorrow. So it can be done if he said it can
As a heavily tattoos individual (none visible with a tshirt on) this is the last time or place to get a tattoo. All it takes is one drunk guy bumping into your and your cute little heart turns into a bearded dragon penis within the blink of an eye.
But the gorilla has the strength to rip polar bears arms off. Hard to puncture when your paw is laying on the ground
Since I wasn’t a complete waste of a human this weekend I’ll share the story of my new neighbors and their terrible weekend.
11:06 pm: walk by the heat what sounds like fighting inside but blow it off as a movie with the volume up
12:13 am: lay in bed as I can clearly hear extreme yelling at each other. Apparently she is a “psycho bitch” and he’s “out of control with his drinking”
2:09 am: jolt out of my sleep to a loud door slam. They are now outside. She’s still a “psycho bitch” but he’s “not even that drunk”
***fighting escalates from here***
3:20 am: they are back inside. I go outside and can see/hear things still being yelled but also objects are clearly being thrown around. I decide it’s time to call 911.
3:40 am: police arrive. We are all outside (yes, I kept my shirt off in case the COPS camera were there. I wanted to be the token shirtless guy)
4:30 am: police are gone. “Not that drunk” guy was arrested. I’m so pumped up there is no chance I’m going to sleep
5:30 am: I’m tires of watching HGTV reruns. Take dog on long walk and make myself a big breakfast
New restaurant is pretty wild stuff man
Also, Roosters was great and the fiancé loved the haircut
Welcome, brethren. This is, statistically speaking, the best city in the country
A JOKE ON A SATIRE WEBSITE. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been claiming a girl from every one of these is Girl. Let me have my fub
This can’t be true…
Just be yourself. But don’t. Be the man they want you to be, have patience, then by the time you disappoint them their daughter will already be in love with you and fight them on anything they have to say about you. It’s what I did and now I’m happily engaged.
Hey Dillion. Hope all is well.
Tonight I’m going for a mega chill evening but I’m not opposed to having a good story about some Houston PGPers I met up with for the fiancé tomorrow since she works tonight (19thholeguy@gmail.com, let’s get weird)
Saturday I am getting a haircut, getting fitted for my wedding tux, and hanging out with my fiancé and her offensively hot friends at the pool.
Sunday I’m going to eat a lot of snacks and take a few power naps. Have a blessed weekend y’all.
Things Girls Do is Will’s baby. I find no fault in him dragging it out BECAUSE I have a feeling it’s less by choice and more out of necessity as he ponders and creates the perfect proposal (or not proposal) situation. After all he and the readers have invested in the series, had he quickly published a proposal (or not proposal) piece that was in any way a let down, we’d all be devastated (Will included) so I think we need to just give it time and more importantly stop criticizing a modern day Shakespeare until his life’s work is done.
Girl is Jordan. Jordan is girl.
Thanks for the hot tip. Might check it out tomorrow.
Also, got an appointment at Roosters at 930 tomorrow. Is that too early to have a haircut beer?
Bill, we’ve had our differences, but your reasonable and unreasonable love for America has me singing a different tune. If you’re ever in Houston, let’s get a drink and discuss American supremacy
Well of course England is trash. People started a war to get away from that place.
I feel like that’s something a serial killer would do yet it’s a standard practice over there
Get outta here with that negativity