Twitter Users Let Us Know What They Want To See in 2016 And None Of It Is Realistic


Oh, Twitter. I love your optimism. We all naturally desire to be optimistic. Well, most of us do, anyway. As Twitter slowly eased out of its diet-busting post-Thanksgiving coma, the hashtags started flying, and one happened to catch on – #In2016IWannaSee. Simple and open-ended, the perfect recipe for a fantastic response.

It’s the morning of Black Friday and I struck out on every deal I attempted to snag, therefore I have decided to determine the realistic possibility of a few of our Twitter friends’ desires. I’ll start with my own.

Probability: Not happening.

Probability: Not unless she gets hooked up with Miley’s supplier.

Okay, cool. Let’s move on.

Probability: Nah. Although, this depends entirely on his nationality. Luxembourg? Yeah, probably a good chance. The United State of America? Ha. Fuck no. Go elsewhere with that bullshit.

Probability: Not going to happen. The fool above proves that this one won’t become reality any time soon.

Probability: Not a chance in hell. Nobody deserves to suffer from those levels of repulsion.

Probability: High. That guy is running. Far.

Probability: Or nah.

Probability: Ummm… No…?

Probability: Prolly not.

Probability: Please God no.

Probability: Unlikely. However, I could get behind this push.

Probability: Roll Tide.

Well, if Twitter is any indication, 2016 is going to be one hell of a stale year. No progress whatsoever. None.

I can’t wait.

Image via All For You/Shutterstock

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a TFM Senior Freelance Contributor. He occasionally dabbles with PGP.

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