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It’s Sunday afternoon. You’ve dragged yourself to the grocery store to stock up for the week. You pick up some eggs, bread, sandwich meat, almond milk, granola bars, and probably some greens that will undoubtedly sit unused in the crisper until Thursday when they have started to go brown. Then you stumble upon the wine aisle. Two sides of shelves stocked full of hundreds of bottles in various flavors and price ranges. It’s a bit overwhelming. You want to pick up a bottle “just to try it” but you don’t know where to start. Well that’s why I am here.
Lately, Mrs. Cush has gained an affinity for Trader Joe’s wine. As such, I have gained quite the palate for their wine as well. TJ’s is big here in the Northeast and for good reason. It is a great grocery store. They do a lot of things right, but two things they excel at are flowers and wine. Both are dirt cheap and of higher quality compared to other places. If you’re looking for a cheap bottle that won’t let you down until the next morning when you regret finishing the whole thing, then Trader Joe’s should be your go to.
Each week I will select a wine that has been purchased from TJ’s and write up a review on it for you wonderful people. This is a wine review column for amateurs, by an amateur. I’m certainly no sommelier so you don’t have to worry about me using big words that normal wine people use. I am here for the simpletons. We will be judging the wine based on the only three things that matter to the lay person: price, taste, and label.
This week’s selection is a wine called Too Uncanny.
Not all wine comes in bottles now in case you guys haven’t heard the news. Smaller sized containers are all the rage now. Cans and juice boxes (as I like to call them) are a go to for Mrs. Cush because handling these things while playing cornhole or polish horseshoes is much more reasonable than lugging around a bottle of wine and spill way less than when you are drinking out of a cup.
The Mrs. and I chose to drink this cabernet sauvignon straight from the can with our dinner of penne alfredo with sun dried tomatoes and garlic bread. It was also chilled in the fridge which was an interesting move, but it’s summer so fuck it. Everything should be cold as far as I am concerned.
Type: Cabernet Sauvignon
Alcohol Content: 13.5%
This 375mL can cost a whopping $3 plus tax and deposit. That’s a $6 bottle of wine in case you wanted a different perspective. The price point is fantastic, but you’d think for that price you are probably getting some MD 20/20 or Boone’s Farm shit. As you’ll read below, it actually tastes like a real wine and for $3 this is an absolute steal.
The following was the evaluation of the aroma prior to the consumption by Mrs. Cush:
“It smells…not bad.”
The wine is a cab sauv but it isn’t really full bodied like others I have had. Nothing berry or flavor wise stands out to me, so I apologize for being useless in that area. It is on the sweeter side of things as far as cab sauv’s go and the chilling of it made it wicked smooth because we hammered this thing down pretty quick. Very crushable for sure. All of this coupled with the 13.5% alcohol content and the fact that a can is a sneaky half a bottle when you’re talking volumes, it could be very dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands.
A big part of wine shopping is the label. Every amateur knows that. If a bottle looks cool, I am much more likely to buy it. The name of the wine is clever for sure. However, the wine’s label does nothing for me because it is just so bland. I do respect the approach given that the brand name is Simpler Wines. It makes sense. In the end, had it not been for the $3 price tag that stuck out like a sore thumb I would have skimmed over this wine completely.
This wine was great and I would definitely get it again. Glad we found it..