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Alright, now that it’s all said and done, here’s what we know about the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio: Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, and Usain Bolt can all claim to be the GOATs, Ryan Lochte becomes even denser after drinking, and The Olympic Village is prime for bumpin’ uglies. We already know which athletes were on Tinder, and now Tinder has revealed which athletes are most likely to get right swiped.
Should we be surprised by these results? Absolutely. But statistics are statistics and we have to trust everything Tinder tells us.
Women’s Sports
1. Table Tennis
2. Field Hockey
3. Rowing
4. Weightlifting
5. Rugby
6. Swimming
Men’s sports
1. Tennis
2. Weightlifting
3. Gymnastics
4. Sport Shooting
5. Judo
6. Boxing
On the female side of things, it’s obviously clear that women’s table tennis players are down to clown. When you think “women’s table tennis,” you think “wild time.” Am I swiping right on any field hockey, rowing, weightlifting, or rugby players? Probably not, because they’d leave an outline of my body on the mattress when they’re done with me. But Katie Ledecky can holler whenever because despite her receding hairline, her Olympic performance got me goin’.
As for the men, no real surprises outside of swimming being left off of the list. With all that Lochte & Co. got into, you’d think they’d be rapid-firing on all cylinders. But hey, sometimes you’ve gotta give the weighlifters and sport shooters their time to shine. Outside of tennis and gymnastics, all the male categories say one thing and one thing only: “Don’t fuck with me.”
Until the 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, guys. .
[via Mashable]
Image via YouTube
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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You ever seen the Dutch field hockey team, Will?
Most attractive collection of athletes I’ve ever witnessed.
Aren’t field hockey players typically lower body disasters though?
With a face like this, does it matter if she has a skinny butt? https://www.instagram.com/p/8pz4Izmh5e/?hl=en
Live and learn, bruddah.
The school I went to is perennially top 5 in the Country, and they have by far the hottest athletes in the school.
It was the same way at my K-12 prep school. And to this day, if I see a woman in a skirt with a field hockey stick, it’s puberty all over.
Jack Sock gettin it in. Proud of you, buddy.