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Sometimes a viral tweet comes across your lap that resonates with you on a spiritual level. As a guy who revels in reviewing arbitrary household items and obscure products, I feel I’d be doing a disservice by not giving you find folks a response to this tweet.
It goes hand in hand with my critically acclaimed hand dryer blog, and I’m positive that this will be a divisive topic.
Like for Elkay LMABF8 (left)
Retweet for Elkay EZS8L (right) pic.twitter.com/oR5fU7yNGx
— wolf (@wolfgangshit) February 7, 2018
Here’s what I’ll say about drinking fountains: I equate quality drinking fountains to grade school so I’m basing a lot of what I’m about to say on pure nostalgia. The EZS8L is VASTLY superior to the LMABF8 in every single way. I don’t know about you, but throughout elementary, middle, and high school, there were hallways with good drinking fountains and hallways with really shitty fountains.
You had to be strategic about when you would go to grab a few sips of water and, if you got stuck at an LMABF8, you were going to be dangerously close to putting your mouth directly on the spigot of the fountain.
Here’s the main problem with the LMABF8: while it is true that the water that came out of this Elkay version was generally colder than the water that the EZS8L produced, the stream was chode-ish in nature. It came out fat and weak, with an incredibly low arc. And that’s not even before we mention the valve operated buttons that for some inexplicable always seemed to be half-broken.
Whenever I found myself at an LMABF8, I would have to push extremely hard to produce a very weak stream that had such a poor arc it was difficult to get into a water bottle. On top of that, check out how there are two separate front-facing buttons. If you wanted a strong stream, you needed leverage from both hands on both of these. This is not a problem with EZS8L because there’s one singular front-facing button that I’m going to talk about a little bit more in detail in a minute.
With the EZS8L, there was never an issue with stream, arc, or broken valve buttons. The buttons on the EZS8L were almost too sensitive. You barely had to touch the front valve button with your index finger to get a thin, incredibly strong stream with a high arc.
And maybe you’re not a front valve button kind of guy. Let’s say you like to go left and right side buttons. That’s no problem with the EZS8L because it comes equipped with side buttons that are equally as sensitive as the front facing, larger button. The argument that the LMABF8 has colder water than the EZS8L is a legitimate one.
There’s no denying that this was true. But the specs on the EZS8L are simply too strong to declare the LMABF8 the winner. Plus, I always found that if you let the EZS8L stream run for a few seconds before drinking, the water would become colder, thus solving this debate once and for all. The LMABF8 had a hell of a run before the EZS8L was introduced (I actually wasn’t able to find an exact invention date) but this is a no-brainer. It’s the EZS8L and it isn’t even close. .
Image via Shutterstock