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Sometimes a viral tweet comes across your lap that resonates with you on a spiritual level. As a guy who revels in reviewing arbitrary household items and obscure products, I feel I’d be doing a disservice by not giving you find folks a response to this tweet.
It goes hand in hand with my critically acclaimed hand dryer blog, and I’m positive that this will be a divisive topic.
Like for Elkay LMABF8 (left)
Retweet for Elkay EZS8L (right) pic.twitter.com/oR5fU7yNGx
— wolf (@wolfgangshit) February 7, 2018
Here’s what I’ll say about drinking fountains: I equate quality drinking fountains to grade school so I’m basing a lot of what I’m about to say on pure nostalgia. The EZS8L is VASTLY superior to the LMABF8 in every single way. I don’t know about you, but throughout elementary, middle, and high school, there were hallways with good drinking fountains and hallways with really shitty fountains.
You had to be strategic about when you would go to grab a few sips of water and, if you got stuck at an LMABF8, you were going to be dangerously close to putting your mouth directly on the spigot of the fountain.
Here’s the main problem with the LMABF8: while it is true that the water that came out of this Elkay version was generally colder than the water that the EZS8L produced, the stream was chode-ish in nature. It came out fat and weak, with an incredibly low arc. And that’s not even before we mention the valve operated buttons that for some inexplicable always seemed to be half-broken.
Whenever I found myself at an LMABF8, I would have to push extremely hard to produce a very weak stream that had such a poor arc it was difficult to get into a water bottle. On top of that, check out how there are two separate front-facing buttons. If you wanted a strong stream, you needed leverage from both hands on both of these. This is not a problem with EZS8L because there’s one singular front-facing button that I’m going to talk about a little bit more in detail in a minute.
With the EZS8L, there was never an issue with stream, arc, or broken valve buttons. The buttons on the EZS8L were almost too sensitive. You barely had to touch the front valve button with your index finger to get a thin, incredibly strong stream with a high arc.
And maybe you’re not a front valve button kind of guy. Let’s say you like to go left and right side buttons. That’s no problem with the EZS8L because it comes equipped with side buttons that are equally as sensitive as the front facing, larger button. The argument that the LMABF8 has colder water than the EZS8L is a legitimate one.
There’s no denying that this was true. But the specs on the EZS8L are simply too strong to declare the LMABF8 the winner. Plus, I always found that if you let the EZS8L stream run for a few seconds before drinking, the water would become colder, thus solving this debate once and for all. The LMABF8 had a hell of a run before the EZS8L was introduced (I actually wasn’t able to find an exact invention date) but this is a no-brainer. It’s the EZS8L and it isn’t even close. .
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
you vs. the guy she told you not to worry about
Yup. Chode vs. long and strong.
This is oddly specific… who hurt you?
Remember how awful is was trying to get a big gulp from these things after a good game of dodge ball in PE?
Also, anyone else ever seen a grown adult put their lips on the fountain for a drink? It’s crazy that such mentally unstable people can freely walk among us
The people of Pawnee, Indiana don’t know any other way to use a water fountain.
I was waiting for that to come up. Nicely done
That’s just fuckin gross man
Whenever I see these I can only think of “save some for the fishes”
You can tell the EZS8L is better just by looking at them.
The power of that stream just looks strong
I trust your judgment
I hate to admit this, but this is a spot on take.
Coming from a teacher the answer is: stay the hell away from both, cause those little shits stuck their mouth all over the spout and I’m not trying to get the flu.
Your username is fucking tittillating, nicely done.
-someone who gets obscure Harry Potter references
Why was the LMABF8 always mounted way lower than the EZS8L? As a tall human, if I didn’t get the tall one at water break, I had to drink from the fountain on my knees.
The LMABF8’s poor water pressure is a real shame because the colder water would otherwise make it a viable option to use for refilling a water bottle, but with the weak stream you’re probably only filling it halfway. Not to mention the basin of the EZS8L is deeper as well, allowing you to fill up near the top
These water fountains need a better name. I have no emotional attachment to a product ID #
LMABF? More like LMFAO am I right?!?
EZS8L also has that quick slap for water. The other you have to think where you are gonna push. When everyone is running towards the fountain after PE you gotta sip and go