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“Shooters shoot.” In 2018, that saying might be played out but this kid who bet Genie Bouchard that the Patriots would come back to win the Super Bowl last year was an absolute desperation heave from full court and my man splashed it through the nylon (#TigerBlood #MIZ #TrueSon). He’s headed for another date with her for Super Bowl LII. My man.
Since last year’s Super Bowl, Genie Bouchard and Mizzou senior John Goerke have been on multiple dates and who knows how much they’ve hung out behind the scenes. What we are seeing right now is a master class in how to slow play a woman who is much hotter than you, way more successful and completely out of your league. My guy John looks like a hard Missouri 7, but please Google Genie Bouchard’s SI swimsuit pics and tell me these two are even in the same arena. I’m a tell-the-truth guy. Call it like I see it.
It’s an incredible display of slow playing. Can you imagine how hard it is to date a celebrity/athlete/successful person? It’s gotta be impossible. We see the “Hey [insert Instagram model’s name here] if this gets 10k retweets, will you go to prom with me?” and “Hey I know you’re the local weather girl but I’m in love with you” acts of desperation fail all too easily. Those things fizzle out quickly and next thing you know the local news girl is moving to Minneapolis and out of your life forever. Seen it a thousand times.
John’s smarter than your average veteran blogger though. He’s exhibiting tremendous restraint and patience. We are watching a master slow player at work here.
John knows how high the stakes are. Genie Bouchard is a legitimate 10 and a world-class athlete who may or may not be running a not so transparent PR scheme on our boy. But judging by a few posts on the web, they’ve actually spent some time together which throws a wrench into the whole thing. This guy might actually have a shot. On behalf of mediocre Midwestern dudes everywhere, throw my full support behind him in this noble effort.
He’s attacking this scenario with great tact. Don’t act too needy, help her career by playing along with this PR ruse for a while, go on some kick-ass dates and leave her the hell alone outside of a few suggestive emoji texts and a quick FaceTime every other week. Letting her dictate the pace at which they move this relationship. A successful, busy woman makes time for you when she damn well pleases. John knows that, and John should be an inspiration to all. Tremendous instincts at such a young age.
Let that be a lesson to all you fellas out there who are ready to give it the all-angles approach and “risk it all” (cc: Bone Zone). Run a few zone blasts and save the deep ball for later. When you’re fishing uncharted waters, you can never be too careful. Best of luck to these two. I am rooting my ass off for them. .
[via The Kansas City Star]
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
Honestly, I’m not even happy for him. Gotta be fucking kidding me.
I share this sentiment
@BostonMax
Is this the guy who said he tries to get girls pregnant all the time?
MediocreMidwesternDude should have been my username. PGP
As a fellow slightly above average looking dude, this guy is an inspiration. Hope he closes the deal.
“letting her dictate the pace at which they move the relationship. A successful, busy woman makes time for you when she damn well pleases.” Nailed it Brian.
The kid has to close now.
My biggest Takeaway from this here is that there is an NFL Canada League
I can’t decide if I think this kid has sealed the deal yet, or not.
I admit I am jealous of him here, but she is probably still actually dating Jordan Caron (hockey player)
All this guy has to do is be chill and hang back, not go too needy and just set up dates when she reaches out, and the likelihood that Jordan fucks up or takes himself out of the equation is high.
The less this guy does at this point the higher his stock will rise.
Is it a date if she’s dating another guy…?
Plenty of attractive women date multiple guys at once… He just needs to do the above.
Haven’t you seen The Bachelor. All is fair game.
So the takeaway is that I should mass tweet every famous celebrity asking for a date ?
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” -Robert Louis Stevenson -Brian McGannon
Contingent on the outcome of a sporting event?