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When you were six, it was hilarious when someone farted in public. Now, decades later, it’s still hilarious, but because you’re an “adult” you’re forced to pretend that it’s offensive and gross. Whether you catch a case of beer-farts while out crawling with your buddies, or the large salad you ate at lunch isn’t sitting well, rest assured that there is an answer: Shreddies.
Shreddies are underwear specifically designed to filter and neutralize the smell of your flatulence. Even the most rancid of gas is not safe from the power of Shreddies! The secret to these magic britches is the Zorflex panel. Zorflex, which is supposedly used in chemical warfare suits, acts as a super-powerful air filter that traps the offensive odors before if can waft from your backside, over your cubicle wall, and send your coworkers into coughing fits that may result in serious injury or death.
Shreddies are available in four styles for men and three styles for women – although bikini, thong and g-string are not among the options. For $30-40 a pair you can have the reassurance that should you accidentally let one slip in the conference room, your boss won’t demand that you immediately seek invasive medical treatment.
You won’t see Shreddies on the runway at Fashion Week anytime soon, and no word on how stain resistant they are, but can you really put a price on olfactory dignity? Since 2008, Shreddies have been helping millions of sufferers like you and me pass wind with our heads held high. See you at Del Taco.
[via NY Daily News]