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I’m a huge fan of Tom Hanks. Castaway? All-time. Saving Private Ryan? Powerful. You’ve Got Mail? Probably one of the greatest films ever created. But I had no idea that he starred a 1984 movie, Bachelor Party, which is probably a product of Tom Hanks not wanting anyone to know he did this movie considering the scene you’re about to watch. The premise of Bachelor Party seems simple enough, per IMDB:
Rick Gassko is about to marry Debbie Thompson. Her parents hate him. Her old boyfriend hates him. They all have money and he gets a cut of the crap games on the Catholic school bus that he drives. His friends decide to give him the bachelor party of all bachelor parties in an expensive hotel with booze, adult movies and hookers. As the players catch wind of the elements of the party, each adds a little monkey wrench so that one set of hookers ends up giving demos at the bride’s shower, the brides friends end up dressed as hookers in a room with a number of non-English speaking Japanese businessmen, and so on, as things get out of hand.
Just kidding. That’s the most ridiculous description for a Tom Hanks movie I’ve ever read. But as ridiculous as the movie’s description may be, it pales in comparison to this scene that I randomly stumbled upon where there’s a donkey doing cocaine in the middle of the party.
The scene leaves me with a lot of questions. Why was there a donkey in the middle of the party? How did this vast array of people find themselves circled around a stripper (or hooker, per the movie’s description)? I mean, it legitimately looks like there’s everyone from a 70-year-old woman to a punk rock band.
Furthermore, why did the man in the trojan helmet smash a bottle over his head after the stripper (or, again, hooker) revealed herself? And finally, how did this donkey learn how to snort lines of cocaine? I didn’t minor in zoology, but I’m pretty sure the initial reaction of a donkey finding lines of cocaine would be to lick them before sniffing them.
And last, but not least, what happened after the donkey snorted those three lines of cocaine? Did he kill the stripper? Did he kill someone else? I want to find out, but I don’t necessarily want to spend the time (or money) renting this movie on iTunes just to see if a literal drug mule killed a stripper in a movie from 1984.
I guess some things are best to be left to the imagination. .
Image via YouTube
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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That donkey would make an excellent fraternity mascot.
Spoiler alert…..the donkey dies and they leave it in the fancy hotels elevator
I remember this movie well. It was on heavy rotation on the premium cable channels during my high school years. Why were high school children watching this movie? Lack of parental supervision. To answer your questions:
1. The donkey was at the party because of the belly-dancer/stripper/hooker. For performance art that you might usually need to go to Mexico to see.
2. The people were circled around the dancer in expectation of said performance art.
3. Where did the vast array of people come from? Well early in the movie the party looks to be a bust, but as things start getting out of hand in a snowball way word gets out on the street and people start crashing the party. This was common to ’80s party movies.
4. The guy in the helmet who smashed the bottle over his head is Hank’s character’s nut-job friend. That is literally all the character development you need for him. He’s the type of friend who smashes beer bottles on his head and likes it. Why do they go gonzo over seeing a stripper? Because his friends are either sex starved nerds or sex starved married men.
5. The donkey snorts the cocaine because that’s just the kind of donkey he is. He dies of a heart attack. They leave the dead donkey in one of the hotel’s elevators. No questions asked.
So there you have it. The man who starred in this sex comedy romp that also included a scene where the mother of the bride is tricked into grabbing a male stripper’s junk and pulling on it, thinking it’s a hot dog, eventually became the modern day Cary Grant and starred in Saving Private Ryan. Make of that what you will.