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The creamy mixture glugs out of the milk carton like a heavy molasses. The ice crackles as liquid meets it. The yellow, almost mucus colored substance stains the sides of the highball glass as I gleefully sprinkle grated nutmeg and chocolate shavings onto the very top of the mixture. It’s eggnog, folks, and I am harder than a diamond in an ice storm as I take my first sip.
Egg yolks, egg whites, whole milk, heavy cream, sugar, and nutmeg. This, my friends, is all you need to make the most delicious beverage of the holiday season. It’s thickness leaves a light film on the teeth after a sip of it. The rich flavor inside of a glass of eggnog makes it a beverage which can only be enjoyed for a very short period of time.
Eggnog is one of those special things that comes along just when you need it. Drink it anytime outside of the Christmas season and you’re labeled a psychopath. But for about four and half weeks, in the time just after Thanksgiving ends, pre-made and homemade eggnogs converge on the scene and everyone instantly cheers up.
With turkey, Plymouth rock, and Pilgrims in the rearview, an entire world turns it’s attention to December and the Christmas season. It’s a time filled with childlike wonderment, cozy evenings spent at home with loved ones, carbohydrates up the wazoo, and of course festive beverages.
Egg nog is unique in that it can be enjoyed as a standalone or as a way to crank the party up about a thousand notches. Splash some bourbon in there. A little Captain Morgan, perhaps. Rum, whiskey, bourbon – anything brown will mix well with a glass of nog.
The best part about going ‘noggin is that the store bought stuff is pretty damn good. I mean of course I’ll always suggest that you make it yourself at home, but in a pinch? If you want to be the star of every pregame you go to for the next few weeks?
Get a fifth of bourbon, a gallon of eggnog, and some nutmeg from the spice rack. You’ll be swatting off suitors all night. Nothing, and I mean nothing, brings people together like bourbon and eggnog mixed together in a glass. It’s good because of it’s exclusivitiy. This isn’t a vodka-soda, a beer, or a whiskey and coke. You can order those types of drinks at any time period and people will not bat an eye. Eggnog only comes around for four weeks (five weeks if you’re really on top of your game).
This week is a trial period. Go to your local grocery and get a half gallon of the stuff. Get your measurements down this week. Make sure you’re doing about two fingers bourbon with 8 ounces of nog. By this time next week, you’ll hopefully graduate to making your own nog, and then the sky is really the limit.
Christmas for anyone who isn’t a small child isn’t really about the actual day. It’s more about the entire month. It’s a time where work productivity is at its lowest. People are going to holiday parties every weekend during the month of December. You’re spending more time than you do all year with grandparents, siblings, and parents, and other extended family. Tempers can run hot without a proper beverage next you. Make it an egg nog not just this holiday season, but every holiday season. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like an eggnog and bourbon in a highball..
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jduda@grandex.co
So my mother makes something called coquito every year. It’s basically Puerto Rican eggnog, it’s delicious and will mess you up way more than eggnog. She uses her grandmother’s recipe, which calls for multiple bottles of 151 proof rum, milk, cream, and cinnamon. It’s a great alternative, and I highly recommend making some if you’re not that into eggnog.
Egg Nog is the nectar of the gods
Absolutely not
Egg yolks, egg whites…so you mean eggs?
Gotta split em up. Beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Add sugar, milk and cream. THEN, and only then, can you add the egg whites.
Honestly, if I had to drink eggnog instead of hot chocolate for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t be mad.
Do you really drink your eggnog on ice? I’m heavily judging you if so.
Only if there’s liquor in it
I stopped reading after “light film on the teeth”.
Nice piece Johnny D but we deserve fewer misused “it’s” on the first workday after a long weekend
I have tried a few of the kombucha drinks from your Snapchat and they’re good but this is trash. Egg nog is the most overrated drink of all time, regardless of season
Sounds like you got some nog related demons