This Dutch Couple Just Set The Bar For Wedding Photos

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Everyone hates your engagement photos. That’s just #factsonly. But wedding photos? I don’t think we’ve come to a conclusion on those yet. They’re not nearly as in-your-face, on-your-feed, as the engagement photos. But when you do see a wedding photo, they’re Snoozefest City. Always the same, like, seven poses, staged outside the wedding venue. No flair, no pizzazz. Nothing really moving the needle.

But this Dutch couple? They wanted to be able to look back at their wedding photos thirty years from now and remember how hot and heavy they were. How sexy and steamy it was. They said “fuck those dumb prom-pic looking poses” and went straight for the BJ scene.

Per The Daily Mail:

At first glance, this wedding photo of a newly-married couple seems to show the pair lacking both patience and fear of discovery.

The couple are dressed in their wedding regalia and have seemingly run off from their party to hide in a forest clearing.

The groom stands with his blue suit-trousers around his ankles, with his bride on her knees in front of him. The image of the Dutch couple was posted online by the photographer, and was soon shared by thousands.

The caption at the picture read: ‘Some newlyweds cannot wait for the party to be over so they can quietly retreat to their suite for a smashing wedding night.

‘Luckily they already exchanged their wedding vows and they were officially married.’ However, the scene was completely innocent, and was posed by the newlyweds as a joke.

In fact, the staged photograph was suggested to the couple by one of their mothers, photographer Michel Klooster said.

Klooster said: ‘I don’t want private parts visible on the picture, but everything that creates the impression is interesting.’

‘They were anyway very cheerful people. A nice and casual wedding, at which everything did not have to be so formal.’

‘Anyone who thinks this is offensive, still lives in the year 1996 according to my opinion. Of all the pictures taken, there is one that is playful, which in ten years is still fantastic to talk about.

‘Give these people their joy. That is also something I wish to you. Life is already prudish enough.’

Simply awesome. This was suggested by one of the mothers?! Mom, you minx! I wouldn’t be shocked if her next suggestion was a little mother of the groom mother of the bride girl on girl action, or maybe a swingers situation with a little wife swap action with the newlyweds’ parents.

I hope this just breeds a whole new generation of one-upsmanship in the world of wedding photos. Let’s not settle for a forest blow jibber scene. I loved it, but let’s keep pushing the envelope. How about a standing 69 shot on the alter in front of the priest? What about a boob luge shot with the champagne? The possibilities are endless. Anything to inject a little life and humor into the wedding pictures.

The problem for me here is now I know I want to find me a wifeski who’s going to be cool with pulling a stunt like this on her wedding day and having it memorialized in photo, and I feel like that’s asking a lot for a bride. She’s stressed enough as it is about the fact that her second cousin’s boyfriend came to the wedding stoned off his ass, and now I’m going to ask her to step away for a moment to recreate a scene from the front page of Pornhub? That’s asking a lot. But I’m probably stupid enough to suggest it. I just need to find me a girl (and a mother-in-law) who’s thinking on the same wavelengths as me. .

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Boston Max

Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly

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