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At this point, proposals aren’t even proposals anymore. They’re smoke-and-mirror events used to get Instagram likes, and the first photo that gets posted of two people moving to the next phase of their life is of a giant rock rather than the beaming smiles of a young couple in love. Men are legitimately holding off on proposing to their girlfriends for fear that the ring they can afford isn’t big enough, which speaks volumes about where we are as a society.
As a guy, if you weren’t already questioning whether or not you wanted to take the leap, this story will solidify things for you.
Logan, a 25-year-old Redditor, told his now-deleted story about his failed proposal to Taylor, his 24-year-old girlfriend. They had been dating for more than two years, so he decided it was time to propose to her. Logan’s description of his girlfriend makes you think, “Well, he kind of made his bed,” when he downplayed his proposal. He stated that Taylor “always liked those super fancy, extravagant proposals where everyone is watching and being awed by how beautiful it is.”
And then he did what no man who describes his girlfriend like that should do: he proposed to her in an un-fancy, un-extravagant way.
“Although she likes to live a lavish lifestyle (nothing wrong with it, she can afford it herself), she never really mentioned marriage,” he explained. “Until her friends started to get engaged.” As any man knows, once the first domino goes, the entire line-up gets antsy and it’s all wedding showers and floral arrangements from that point forward.
See, before we get into his proposal, you need to learn a little bit about the crew that Logan and Taylor were rolling with. Taylor’s best friend? She got proposed to at a French castle with a professional photographer on-hand to capture the moment for Instagram. And if that’s what her best friend had, Logan needed to know that Taylor simply couldn’t have anything less than that.
At that point, Taylor began planning her own proposal for Logan and had a very specific set of requirements for it – ring, location, photographers, outfit, everything. She probably had her nail color ready to match the ring as well, because that’s a thing that girls do now in case you still had any faith left.
Logan then divulged that he became concerned because it was his proposal, too. Not just hers. Big mistake, Logan. Big mistake.
He had the idea to do it atop The Eiffel Tower, but made the worst decision of his life and decided to do it south of Los Angeles on a beach in the middle of nowhere with no one else around. And if we’ve learned anything through this story, if there isn’t a professional photographer where the proposal takes place, did the proposal ever even happen? The answer is no, it does not even happen. Because Taylor, his girlfriend of two years, pretended the proposal didn’t happen.
Despite the fact that Logan bought the correct ring, the ring she wanted, she said, “This is a horrible joke, Logan,” before crying and claiming that he “ruined” it for her. She then talked about rings as if he didn’t propose and is (probably) expecting another, more extravagant, proposal in the near future.
Logan then ended his post in the most beaten-down way possible: “I love her, but I don’t know if I’m being a jerk by not meeting her expectations – or if she’s being awful.”
Don’t read any of the comments, Logan. I’ll handle this for you: she’s being awful. Turn the ring in, move north, use that money as a down payment, and take some time to yourself to get your manhood back before another woman tries to steal it from you like Taylor did.
Thank me later. .
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I can see this exact scenario playing out in Todd’s future.
Honestly, I couldn’t even have made up that abomination of a scenario if I tried.
I guess you still have some work to do in channeling your inner basic bitch.
I’m wondering how strong the correlation is for amount of social media validation your relationship needs and the the likelihood of getting divorced
I want a follow-up with all the dumbfucks participating in the “Love Your Spouse” Facebook challenge. I already saw the picture of you trying dim sum together. Didn’t care two years ago, don’t care on Day 4 of the challenge.
Christ. I almost fainted thinking about this.
I don’t know about marriages, but I saw a study somewhere (probably here) that the more you post about your relationship, the more likely you are to break up within 6 months.
Not sure about social media, but an Emory study found that couples who spent >$20k on the wedding (which, let’s face it, a lot of the expensive stuff is done for social media validation anyway) were significantly more likely to get divorced.
If my girlfriend said my proposal wasn’t “done properly,” you better believe I would no longer have a girlfriend.
This man cannot make it up north fast enough.
She sounds incredibly high maintenance (and hot) and he is a total idiot. What the fuck did he think was going to happen when she was talking in detail about all of the plans and then he did the complete opposite?
P.S. if they end it tell her to give me a call.
Agreed, she sounds like everyone’s favorite PGP protagonist, but she went on and on about what she wanted, he deliberately did the opposite, and then is confused when she doesn’t like it?
“So, does this mean we’re stopping at the taco truck?”
*not, fuck my tits
You know what? I wasn’t going to comment on this because I didn’t want to be pinned for assisted suicide charges after Logan read the comment section on here, so I’ll refrain from saying what my brain is telling me to say right now. So, since I’m basically the written, shorthanded form of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, I really think Logan should take that money and book an extremely long vacation where he smokes DMT and cycles it with LSD to find inner peace with himself and the world. Once the geometric alien shadow figures speak positive wisdom to him telepathically, he will come back knowing that pretty much everything in our realm is complete and utter bullshit and he will feel freedom that not even a break up from a selfish, narcissistic woman could give him.
I was gonna say he should get drunk with one of her girlfriends have her wear the ring for jokes. go to pound town and then take an insta of her girlfriend post session with the her engagement ring on. Basically pulling a Dan Blazerian on her.
I recently got engaged and the pressure to get the biggest ring possible, plan the best proposal, impress friends, etc is unreal. Luckily pops was able to talk some sense into me before I ruined my own experience and financial future.
This infuriates me more than Girl and Caroline at a restaurant ever could.
This scares the living shit out of me.
Instead of getting married, I’m gonna use the money I save on the ring to buy a really nice guitar instead.
Vintage Custom Shop American Fender Stratocaster with cut tremolo bar?
That’s a good one. I wouldn’t mind a Gibson Les Paul 59 reissue.
That’s a sweet guitar. Can’t go wrong either way.
You smooth motherfuckers
I’m not claiming that buying a $7k guitar is the pinnacle of good financial sense but at least the guitar doesn’t complain about how Brittany’s engagement was at a French castle.
I’ve always said I don’t want a ring. I’d rather the money be saved for a down payment or go towards a few car payments.
‘Sup?
haha
Not to downplay what a horrible -unt with a Capital C this bitch is, but how does one match nail color to a ring…?
Shiny