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She sighs. “I need a hobby,” goes through her head while paging through Real Simple in the waiting room at her spray tan appointment. She looks at her calendar and sees a gaping six weeks between now and the girls trip she’s scheduled to Bolivia with Caroline.
Through the pages of simplistic-yet-functional storage containers and healthier alternatives to tonic water, she stumbles upon an article titled 12 Apps For Serious Photographers. Her “Photography” folder, already three pages deep, has ten of the twelve apps in the article.
“I mean, why not?” she begins justifying to herself. “I continually get over 70 likes on Instagram and my Snapchat stories almost always get, like, over 100 views.”
After drunk-downloading every filter on VSCO a few weekends ago, the overall look of her Instagram feed has really taken shape and hasn’t looked this good since she posted those twelve photos from Christmas when it snowed perfectly. After Grant and Kristin’s wedding, she caught them in a perfect moment where the sunlight peaked perfectly through the space between their heads. And at happy hour last week, her perfectly juxtaposed tequila drink/fresh chips/picnic table photograph was regrammed by the restaurant and received 250 likes in under and hour. “The proof is in the pudding,” she thinks to herself, not entirely sure if that’s the proper saying or not.
In her appointment, she mentally schedules the rest of her day around her tangent-turned-possible-career-change. It can’t end soon enough, and she grabs her phone immediately upon getting dressed to get started.
Sitting in her Uber on the way home from her appointment, she gets right to work. In an iPhone note, she makes a list of possible content areas for the Squarespace or Wix page she’s going to make her boyfriend (well, kind of, they haven’t defined the relationship yet) Todd set up for her: weddings, engagements, newborns, bridal and baby showers, senior portraits, personal travel (obviously), and like, even commercial photography if things go as planned.
At the bottom of the note, she also makes a list of things she needs to buy for potential shoots: chalk boards, an oversized ampersand cutout, balloons, mason jars, christmas lights, pastel-colored chalk, vintage globes, pieces of driftwood, lanterns, Scrabble letters, pennant flags, sparklers, and anything that says “forever” on it.
With her dad’s credit card in tow, she heads down to the Apple Store to hit up the Genius Bar for some advice on how to get started. Her laptop is already full of photo editing programs that she hastily downloaded during her stint as a fashion blogger (but never used). Confused as to why she went to a store that doesn’t sell professional cameras, Genius Bar Jason kindly directs her to a camera shop down the street, just as he’s done with countless girls before.
Rolling his eyes at a sight he’s seen too many times, the camera shop sales associate asks her if he can help her with anything. Based on his other similar clients, he assumes money won’t be an issue so he ushers her over to the Canon EOS 7D Mark II. Unsurprisingly, money isn’t an issue, and she immediately falls in love with her new accessory.
Holding it delicately, she inquires, “Okay, so like, how do you work this thingamajig?” .
Image via Shutterstock
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Even though they’re not even Facebook official yet, her dad is already daydreaming that Todd will hurry up and propose so that he can stop financing his daughter’s ridiculous spending.
These feel more like “things rich white ex sorority girls do after graduation”. Maybe I’m just missing that it’s implied
Subtract daddy’s credit card, add recruiting or marketing job, and then everything holds true for things white ex-sorority girls do after graduation.
I love this series. So true and hilarious. Is she going to become a Beachbody Coach next, or hawk essential oils?
All I can say is that it feels like Todd has been up to something.
Todd is fooling around, isn’t he?
I never trusted Todd.