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I know, I’m not in a position to talk, but hear me out.
I did it. I found the yuppiest wedding photo of all-time, which was difficult to do. Friday after Friday, I scour the internet for insufferable marriage announcements that I can scream from my ivory tower about. Trust me – I’ve seen a lot of white people doing a lot of insufferable things. This couple, while not really all that insufferable, is something even more fun to make fun of: hilariously white.
Their names are Stephanie and Robert, and their wedding photographs were taken by Robert Radifera. And what they created was amazing.
Here’s a running list of the whitest things about this couple:
– She’s Canadian.
– Robert actually goes by “Blake.”
– They went to Hamilton College (70% white).
– Stephanie was on the Hamilton Hockey Team.
– The entire bridal party is holding hockey sticks.
– “Blake” was on the Hamilton Lacrosse Team.
– Every groomsman appears to be ready to go toss in the quad.
– The dude on the far right.
Is there a high chance I accidentally run into these people during Restaurant Week in Newport, Rhode Island at some point in my life? Well, yeah, probably. But I can still poke fun from afar.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t drop the gloves and punch me square in the face. .
[via The Washingtonian]
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
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Tell it Micah to stop dropping the ball for this weekend in fun music on the pod. It’s DERAILING my weekly listens in the oval.
Tweet him @micahwiener.
You know it’s really him because it’s verified.
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I like that they cut the dude on the right out of the picture. And also, I’d throw one hell of a ‘sup’ to that Maid of Honor
Its the blonde one who knows how to party.
Are we just going to ignore the fact that there is what appears to be a fucking GRAPE VINEYARD behind them?
Pretty sure I can see the bride’s navel down her dress.
deFries, curious what you think of this, particularly the dog with the baby Sperry’s in his mouth. http://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/a9986444/preppy-baby-announcements/
Also, my brother went to Hamilton. That a couple that would pull this wedding photo off went there makes a lot of sense.
Zoom in on the grooms face… the dude looks like he took one too many lacrosse balls to the head…
I accept this as a challenge for my upcoming wedding.
Would.