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One of my friends has a three-year-old, and she’s constantly mentioning the terrible three’s, where her devil child displays the same odious behaviors as the terrible two’s combined with an increased level of intelligence and stubbornness. In some ways, week 3 of unemployment is the same. It’s much like week 2 with more knowledge (all of those rejection emails have definitely let me know where I stand) and more pigheadness (why did the recruiter call me with that job that they know I didn’t want? Doesn’t anyone listen to me?), not to mention significantly more boredom.
There have been two spiders in my room all week and I’ve decided their names are Lucy and Ethel. In other news, I really need to get a job.
— Jenna (@JennaLCrowley) May 11, 2018
For week 3, I’ve made a strategic decision: I’m going to slow down the job apps. Frankly, I’m getting overwhelmed with the rejection emails, the phone interviews, those weird video recorded questions, and trying to keep all of it straight. Plus, I’ve got three positions with good potential for an offer in the pipeline so I’m just going to chill out a little bit this week.
Monday
No phone or in-person interviews today, so I decided to take a day and focus on getting shit done. Somehow, even with an extra eight hours in my day, I don’t seem to be able to get to everything I want to/need to do. My house was a mess, I hadn’t done a sheet mask in three weeks, and the dog sorely needed a bath, not to mention that my DVR was creeping up the 100% full mark. My floors, pores and dog are all clean and I finally caught up on New Girl, Brooklyn 99 and The Arrangement. Not a bad list of accomplishments for the day.
Jobs applied for: 0
Tuesday
Back in week 1, you may recall that I had an interview that I wasn’t sure how it went. That’s the problem with interviews: oftentimes, you don’t have a clue how the people on the other side of the table felt about you. The conversation could have been great, but maybe they didn’t think you were qualified enough. The interviewer may have been a little stand-offish, but maybe that’s just their personality and they loved you. It’s like dating, except that you’re waiting for an offer letter instead of a text asking you out again. And frankly, as someone whose currently without a paycheck, I’m agonizing way more over the former than the later.
Anyway, it turns out that interview went damn well…kind of. Turns out, I don’t have enough experience for the job I originally applied for (which I knew when I applied; frankly, I was surprised I was even getting an interview), but all of the people were “so impressed with me” that they want to create a position for me and come back in to meet with the head of the department. What? My company thought I was so useless they laid me off but you love me so much you want to give me a job you don’t even have? Hells yeah.
I intentionally schedule the interview for the start of the work day to get an idea of what my commute would be (smart thinking, right?) and frankly, I crushed it. It wasn’t even an interview – the department head and I just shot the shit for 90 minutes (the interview was scheduled for 60) and I knew I hit it out of the park. Time to sit back and just wait for the offer.
Jobs applied for: 0. Who needs to be applying for jobs now? I’ve got this in the bag.
Wednesday
Obviously, you all follow me on Twitter, so you know that Tuesday took a decidedly bad turn following the amazeballs interview:
Well, the day has taken a turn. I’m sitting outside the hospital waiting for my mom to arrive by ambulance. I’m trying to suppress a major panic attack as this is the same ER my dad passed away at. Prayers from my internet friends, please.
— Jenna (@JennaLCrowley) May 15, 2018
So clearly, the job hunt – and all of my unemployment worries – took a back seat. Update: Mom is home and fine.
Jobs applied for: 0
Thursday
Today was the previously mentioned interview in NYC, and I barely made it. I had planned to head down to the Big Apple on Wednesday, but obviously I wasn’t going to leave with Mom in residence at the hospital. One of the drawbacks of being an only child is that all of the responsibilities fall to you in times like these. But with promises that she would be released today and my aunt on standby to pick her up, I find myself on the 5:00 a.m. Acela to NYC with a heart full of guilt and head full of nothing since I’d only slept about 3 hours. Clearly, I was in prime interview form.
How did I do? I have no fucking idea. Luckily, the internal recruiter told me that the woman was interviewing with was hard to read, so I didn’t read too much into her “uh-huh” and “sure” murmurings. Honestly, I’d probably be a lot more concerned if Tuesday’s interview hadn’t gone so well and if I wasn’t texting my mom every thirty minutes to check in. I’m the live version of the shrugging girl emoji.
Jobs applied for: 0
Friday
With mom safely ensconced at home, I decided that it was ok to stay in NYC as planned and visit with some friends in the city. After all, this could be my potential new home, so I better start solidifying my city friendships, right?
When lounging in my hotel bed between lunch with one friend and dinner with another – the call came. The one from Tuesday’s interview. Yeah, that’s right, my friends – your girl has a job offer. Well, she’s actually going to get it formally on Monday, but same difference.
Of course, this doesn’t come without some drama. The HR guy was calling to verify what my salary requirements were, and I, being a pragmatist, cited a number 25% more then what I was making, to which he responded, “Oh, that’s totally within our range” with the air of someone who had bags of money to throw at me like that guy on the Monopoly box. So of course, I spent the rest of the day worrying that I had low-balled myself. Had I under-estimated my own worth? And even if I had, shouldn’t I just be happy with a 25% bump? Thankfully, my salary spiral was stopped by the four watermelon flavored tequila beverages I had at dinner. I’ll worry about it on Monday.
Jobs applied for: 0.
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Congrats on the offer! Double celebrations for that and for your mom doing better.
A 25% bump is definitely a solid upgrade over your previous job and a 125% upgrade over what you are making now ($0).
It’s actually an infinity% increase over what she makes now. Her pay increase limit does not exist.
3 weeks is a damn impressive turnaround time!
We’re all still pretty young, so jobs are relatively easy to find. When my company had layoffs, I felt most sorry for the people who’d been there for 10+ years and we’re thrown on the street more so than for myself.
Congrats, next you’ve got to invite the colleagues you liked at the old job to join you. PGPM
Damn, people will do anything for money these days lol
For the future, I would recommend asking what they’ve budgeted for the role.
For the California PGPers – If you ask this question, they’re required to tell you.
Watermelon mezcal margs are the quintessential summer drink.
Congrats on writing such a short series! Enjoy the new job!
Yay! Congrats and glad your mom is ok!
Congrats and best of luck to your mom!
Congratulations!