The Sunday Scaries Live Blog: The Golden Globes

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7:19 — “Hitting Park City for the last weekend of Sundance and some turns. Need some fresh gear advice. Need to ride that line between ridiculous and respectable.” TFM.

7:17 — “What if we just got torched and slept up here?” – Dave

7:16 — That’s who I am. That’s what I do.

7:15 — “Is Dwayne pulling off the velvet? Thoughts? Concerns?” It’s The Rock, he pulls off everything.

7:14 — Maura with the W. The Affair has to be sneaky one of the most underrated shows out there. The lead actor has the greatest east coast vacation style ever.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A SERIES, LIMITED SERIES, OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black
Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey
Regina King, American Crime
Maura Tierney, The Affair
Judith Light, Transparent

7:13 — Dave upon seeing The Rock and J-Lo on the screen: “Imagine the glutes on that baby.”

7:11 — Kate Winslet acting shocked? Come on, you’re Kate fucking Winslet.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN ANY MOTION PICTURE
Jane Fonda, Youth
Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight
Helen Mirren, Trumbo
Alicia Vikander, Ex Machina
Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

7:10 — “I’ve been surfing the Pit Viper website for almost an hour.” You need some Pit Vipers on your roster at all times.

7:09 — “What would be the most respectable beer Ricky could be drinking up on stage right now?” Kid Rock’s Badass Beer.

7:08 — This is so dumb. Jonah acting as the bear from Revenant is… so dumb.

7:05 — Alright, wasn’t anticipating Gervais making jokes about sticking the actual award in his rectum but this is where we are right now.

7:04 — “I’ve got huge after-company-party scaries. Its always the 2nd after party bar that gets ya.” Don’t remember leaving the Grandex Holiday Party 2nd location.

7:03 — “I think most actors would rather win 1 Academy Award before 5 Golden Globes, right? Golden globes are paper weights.” Yeah, totally, everyone knows the Globes are just for getting drunk with other A-Listers.

7:03 — Steve Avery up for best actor? No? Okay.

7:02 — He needs to finish this beer by the end of this monologue or else I’m not going to believe anything he says for the rest of the night.

7:01 — Ricky going no-tie as well, great fat guy move. Keeps the neck free, doesn’t bunch up and make you look fatter than you are.

7:01 — Ricky with the beer in the monologue. Love it already.

7:00 — I’d get sooooo champagne hammered if I were in attendance.

6:59 — “Just decided to look up where the closest culvers was. 85 miles away. Really bummed me out. Not handling this Sunday well at all.” Never had it, not sure what the big deal is.

6:59 — First person to dab tonight is dead to me forever. Even if it’s McConaughey or Leo, but they’d NEVER do that.

6:57 — Honestly? Need more from the comment section right now. Slowest comments we’ve seen on a live blog to date. Everyone’s hands must be shaking too much from drinking this weekend.

6:53 — #PeeBreak, I don’t need to hear Winslet. Gametime in 7 minutes.

6:52 — How did such an awesome guy like Will Smith create such a piece of shit kid like Jaden?

6:51 — Fool’s Gold w/ McConaughey up for anything tonight? Top 10 Movie Ever.

6:49 — I’ll give my respects. I’m a big enough man to admit she looks great.

6:47 — Did it just get hot in here? #Leo

6:45 — Fun Fact? Really? (Edit: Nevermind, from 2014)

6:44 — It’s like Jennifer Lawrence just heard what I said. Snooze City on that interview.

6:43 — Say what you want about how “cool” Jennifer Lawrence is, she’s an annoying interview. Tries too hard. Diggin’ the blonde hair though.

6:43 — Is McConaughey going to be there tonight? If not… Hey McConaughey, beers on me if you pop by the Grandex office.

6:40 — Yeah, this Stephen Hawking dude really wants to carry baby clothes around all night. Good call, Seacrest.

6:39 — Over/under on how many times J-Law “accidentally” falls tonight: 2.5, she’s so crazy, omg.

6:38 — “Will, what would you wear on the red carpet?”

Navy tux, Moonrock Yeezy Boosts, Persols.

6:35 — Preach.

6:34 — Okay, I’m just going to say it: the show needs to start. I need Gervais to start roasting people STAT.

6:32 — Rooney Mara looks like the kind of girl that would ask you to smoke weed with her in college before listening to jazz records.

6:30 — Kate Hudson with the haymaker.

6:29 — I wish that had been a real light saber that cut Rancic in half.

6:27 — How does Julia Louis-Dreyfus not miss a beat at her age? Never ceases to amaze me that she still can give you a quality start despite how many innings she’s been through.

6:26 — Rosie Huntington-Whiteley clubhouse leader and it’s not even close. There has to be one wildcard still out there though.

6:24 — I have a black-tie wedding later this month. Do I shave my beard or own it? Been my biggest source of anxiety since 2016 started.

6:22 — Everyone has a friend that reminds them of Rachel McAdams.

6:20 — “Worst scaries I’ve had in a long time. And no Sunday Night Carrie Underwood on NBC to cope with. Not to be too dramatic, but this just might save my life. Thank you Will.”

That’s what I’m here for. The first weekend back after the holidays is always a huge drinking weekend.

6:19 — Jenna Dewan Tatum and Channing are like the John Legend and Chrissy Teigan that I want to hang out with. Still can’t believe Chrissy blocked me on Twitter for no reason. So messed up.

6:18 — Who are all these broads with Stallone?

*Look away, Will. Look away*

6:17 — Jon Hamm’s hair might get the Would Award tonight. I just screamed “OH SHIT” when he came on the screen.

6:17 — “What would be the first thing WDF do when he wins the Powerball?”

Never talk to any of my friends again, fly to Europe and ski until I couldn’t stand.

6:16 — I’ve had two sips of this beer and no longer want it. It’s officially my Everest tonight.

6:16 — Melissa McCarthy wearing a trash bag which is a weird choice considering it’s a trash bag.

6:15 — We are on high dab alert. There will be at least one tonight, and it will make us want to rip the tv off the wall.

6:14 — “Murdered out Cranston is huuuuuge.” – Dave in regards to Brian Cranston rocking all black everything.

6:13 — Drinking an IPA out of a TSM Koozie, just what the brewer imagined.

6:12 — There’s one account doing a horrible job covering the Globes tonight, and I’m not going to name them specifically, but they’re prone to stealing content on Sundays.

6:11 — #DDunst

6:10 — How many times is the word “obsessed” going to be said on this red carpet?

6:08 — TSM may kill me for saying this, but I just don’t like how Schumer’s sister is everywhere. Quit riding in her wake, bro.

6:05 — Hottest Accents, Ranked:

– Aussie
– Whatever Salma Hayek’s is
– British
– Southern

6:04 — I’d start Downton Abbey but I’ve still got a lot of other books to finish before I start that one.

6:03 — Jamie Lee Curtis’s daughter. Not going to ask how old she is because I don’t want to know.

6:02 — WHO IS THE GIRL IN GOLD? TELL ME HER NAME.

6:01 — Regarding Sudekis’s shoes:

6:00 — J. Lo, huge letdown in her mustard dress. She’s still dominating, but just nah.

5:59 — This slow-mo cam on E! is gamechanging.

5:57 — K-Dunst letting her BOMBS out in this dress. I mean, she’ll never win the Would Award but like, I respect the Hail Mary.

5:57 — “You’ve already got a 10 on your arm, do you really have to wear Jordans?” – Dave

5:55 — Hey look, it’s me and Olivia Wilde.

5:51 — “Are you accepting venmo payments to take shots at random during the show?” All we have in the office are beers.

5:49 — Leslie Mann for Would Award purely because she’s top choice of 40+ girls I want to hang out with.

5:48 — Who is this Zendaya girl making Seacrest look like a straight-up little person?

5:46 — Need to get another look at the crooked smile girl from Game of Thrones. She’s got Would potential.

5:45 — The Crossfit Games are on ESPN if anyone wants to watch the television version of vaping.

5:44 — Alright, switching from golf to E! Will Dave be happy when he rolls in? Probably not, but I can’t risk missing Leo come in and blow everyone away.

5:43 — How could I forget that I’m clearly rooting for Leo all night? Revenant is my favorite movie ever and I haven’t even seen it yet.

5:42 — Just got word that Dave is bringing a 6-pack of IPAs and takeout PF Changs. Not all heroes wear capes.

5:40 — My biggest fear tonight? The Scaries taking me over and forcing me to stay at the office instead of driving home. My second fear? I’m goin to accidentally give the Would Award to someone under 18.

5:38 — Good to see both Spieth and Koepka welcoming #WhitePantsSeason in January. Revolutionaries.

5:37 — “At the office on a Sunday PM? Not sure even the Golden Globes can undo those Scaries.” Might sleep here tonight to guarantee I’m first one in tomorrow.

5:34 — “Michigan winters or Austin summers?” I’d take Michigan winter over Austin summer ten times out of ten. I can ski, drink, and where sweatpants in Michigan. All I can do during the summer months in Austin is sweat through my clothes and breath air conditioning.

5:30 — Wiz Khalifa is going bits with no socks. Can’t not respect that.

5:28 — “How low does Spieth end up today? Does anyone even come close to him?” No way anyone gets remotely close to him. #SummerofSpieth

5:27 — We’ve got ourselves a clubhouse leader for the Would Award.

5:24 — Who the hell makes that putt from 20+ feet besides Spieth? Who is this kid? Why are we so lucky to have him in our lives?

5:22 — #ContentNeverSleeps

5:20 — “Looking out for anything in particular tonight on Golden Globes ? Any early favorites?”

Not really. I think Schumer will take it down in the comedy section purely because the Globes know it would break the internet with a bunch of girls saying they’d be “best friends” with her just like J-Law, but whatever.

5:16 — I think we’re all praying for that, yeah.

5:11 — Just want to go on record saying I like the idea of joggers on the golf course a la Rickie, but white joggers just look like baseball pants, man. Can’t be doing that look.

5:10 — “Are you the only person in the office? Will savanna deliver boneless wings?” Honestly? There are worst decisions to make than that. Dave’ll be here in about twenty, so follow along with him on Twitter too.

5:08 — Just as an FYI to early readers, this is going to pick up in about an hour or so. I’ve got coffee to brew, bathroom breaks to take, and decisions about what to Postmate to make with Dave.

5:04 — Anyone else see the chick take a digger off that surf board?

5:02 — “Will, why aren’t you watching football tonight?” Because once the Lions season is over, what is there to watch?

“Will, why are you so into awards shows?” Because everyone knows awards shows are the GOAT when it comes to Scaries killers, unless you’re watching the SNL 25th Anniversary special.

5:01 — Alright, we’re live from Kapalua. I’m going to make a motion to change the channel to E!’s coverage of the red carpet in about an hour or so, because I’ve got the ‘Would Award’ to give out tonight and the red carpet ain’t gonna watch itself.

4:57 — Doing this live from the Grandex Conference room. Rocking joggers, longsleeve Scaries tee, and Patagonia Capilene boxers.

4:55 — Pre-gaming with Jordan Spieth’s quest to win the Tournament of Champions. Love being a 29-year-old dude fangirl’ing over a 22-year-old dude with a receding hairline. .

41

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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