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There are plenty of questions you’ll have in your first year out of college. What are taxes? How much do they take out of my paycheck? And that’s legal? What do I do with my hair in the morning? What do I wear to work everyday? That last question is the most confusing for postgrads. Your wardrobe once consisted of party clothes, free t-shirts and sweatpants. You only got dressed up for the rare formal event, wedding or funeral. If you were one of those people who dressed up for class, you can kindly go fuck yourself.
The Prune
You don’t own an iron or an ironing board or anything that might facilitate ironing and you haven’t done laundry in weeks. You threw on a shirt from the bottom of your hamper and tried to pass it off. You didn’t pass it off. Your coworkers were talking behind your back all day, and it’s probably still a popular lunch conversation topic to this day.
Too Much Effort Ensemble
You dress pretty fancy for someone who makes $28k/year and drives a Volvo not from this century.
The Overdresser
You dress pretty fancy for someone who goes to work in an office park next to a Popeye’s.
The Wannabe Manhattanite
I know it’s your dream to go work in the Big Apple one day, but let’s remember that you’re not in the big city yet. You’re working for a third-tier car rental company in Wichita.
“Forgot to get change at the grocery store last night.”
If you haven’t worn dirty clothes to work at least once in your life, then you’re probably some sort of wizard that has cast some sort of stain repellent spell on all your clothes.
The Dad Tailgate Special
Normally, I respect any sort of “dad” look. Tevas with tube socks, Land’s End chino shorts with a 10-inch inseam and a Tommy Bahama shirt, or the gameday staple: the coach’s polo and slacks. This is the most put-together you probably ever looked at work, considering your gameday golf polo had been hidden away in the back of your closet until you decided to unleash it on the office and fly your colors proudly.
Your Car Payment
You dress pretty fancy for someone who’s gonna have their car towed out of the lot in front of the entire office later next month because they dropped a couple bills they didn’t have on some new work threads..
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
Whatever I wore in that first job, I sure as shit didn’t call it an “outfit”.
Wrinkle release Febreze: not just Xmas gifts for lazy college kids anymore.
Also if you have a stain on a button down or otherwise work acceptable shirt, just stick a complementary sweater or something over it. You’d rather be the overdressed/ensemble guy than the dirty guy.
That’s true. Wrinkle Release Febreze is also a Christmas gift for lazy postgrads now!
“Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.”
Non-iron shirts and slacks… don’t be the prune guy.
^^^ This. Every place sells cheap non-iron clothes now if you can’t afford BB.
“Why is that guy wearing a suit on Casual Friday?”- everyone else in the office
Is “Jeans and a button-down” not a thing at most workplaces?
It is at mine. Thanks west coast.
I work in NYC and on my first day at work wore the jacket, shirt and tie combo. My boss came up to me mid day wearing jeans and a button down and told me never to wear a shirt and tie again. From that moment on I rock jeans and a button down, or polo and khaki’s.
… no
I dressed better at my internship. Then again, I also had a window office at my internship instead of this cubicle.
non irons are yesterdays polyblends. Man up and have your gf iron your shirts.
Man up and get your shirts dry cleaned
Or take both routes. Let her feel special and iron your clothes, but in reality she sucks so you get them dry cleaned afterwards.